Chris Assaad - Peace, Love, Inspiration

I woke up crazy early this morning with an idea for a song playing in my head. At first, I wanted nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep. I semi-consciously engaged in an internal battle between the artist in me, excited about its shiny new idea and the tired sleep lover, desperate for a few more Z’s. For simplicity, we’ll call them Inspiration and Procrastination. The conversation went something like this:

Inspiration: “Wake up! I have an amazing idea for a song!”
Procrastination: “WTF? I’m tired, leave me alone.”
Inspiration: “I think it could be really good and I’m excited about it RIGHT NOW!”
Procrastination: “Tell me about it later. It’s too early to write a song. We need sleep.”
Inspiration: “Yeah but if we go back to sleep, I may not remember the idea when we wake up again.”
Procrastination: “If it’s any good and worth pursuing, you’ll remember it.”

And that’s when I remembered something a friend of mine told me recently that has been making a huge difference in my creative process. His advice was: when a good idea strikes, the key is to use that initial burst of inspiration to take the idea as far as you can then and there, before the wave of creativity dissipates.

Sounds simple enough, but anyone who’s ever tried to take an idea from start to finish, let alone be consistently creative and productive, knows it’s one of the hardest things to do.

Let’s face it, we all have good ideas, great ones even. But ideas come and go. If we don’t do something about them, if we don’t AT LEAST write them down, leave ourselves a message or record a voice memo, they disappear and often don’t return. Or we’ll let an idea slide only to later discover someone else has made that product, told that story, written that song, etc. These experiences can be frustrating and discouraging – unless we choose to use them as reminders to go for it the next time, rather than allowing them to take the wind out of our sails and intensify the resistance that kept us from creating in the first place.

And how does that resistance show up? Well, Procrastination is definitely one of my leading creative buzz kills. There’s also Perfectionism, Over-Analysis, Fear of Failure, and Addiction, to name a few. For a really good read on all the various ways that Resistance to creative expression and any soul-expanding endeavor shows up, check out The War of Art by Steven Pressfield.

And let’s be very clear about one thing: bringing our ideas to life IS soul-expanding, and it’s a big part of why we’re here. Creating is one of the greatest joys of the human experience and one of the ways in which the Divine within each and every one of us gets to be expressed. It’s also one of the most powerful sources of connection between us and our highest selves, and with one another. If you’ve experienced the thrill of riding a creative wave and making it to having something that even resembles a complete work, then you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever heard a song, been told a story, seen a picture, gone to a performance or watched a movie that moved you in some way, that spoke to your heart, and that stirred something in your soul, then you know what I’m talking about.

And what’s amazing is that we all have that potential and each and every one of us has our own one-of-a-kind flavor to offer. We could all stand in front of the same sunset, appreciate its beauty and feel our connection to life and to each other. Yet the moment we go to write about it, take a photo of it, paint it, describe it, no two expressions would be alike. You have your one and only voice, writing style, artistic angle, taste buds, eye for fashion, etc. and it comes to life when you take an idea and EXPRESS it!

There are tens of thousands of songs about love, but no one else has written the one that I got up to write this morning.

Yup, I did it. I let inspiration win for a change and it felt damn good. And if I had gone back to sleep, that song would have never happened. If I let myself be discouraged by the million and one reasons I could come up with not to create and take chances, I’d be miserable and unfulfilled from denying my dreams and my potential. And if I lived my life that way and made the same choice over and over again, I would miss out on one of the greatest gifts of being alive and die with my soul full of great ideas that never came to light.

So what great idea have you been putting off? How would you feel at the end of your life if you let all your ideas slip away instead of seizing the moment to bring forth what you were born to create? Are you willing to roll up your sleeves, dig in and let Inspiration win?

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (May 19th, 2013)

Learning takes patience.

By definition, setting out to learn a new skill or to put a new teaching into practice in life or in any craft requires us to first acknowledge that we don’t know how to do something or be a certain way. For many of us, this alone can be very discouraging and can trigger negative thinking and the inner voice of self-doubt.

In these technologically advanced times we live in, this tendency has been magnified. We want everything RIGHT NOW! We want the fast track to the promised land of greatness, the shortcut to mastery. We want the biggest result with the least amount of effort. This need to have it now, to get there ASAP, coupled with our resistance to the process cuts us off from the experience of learning and makes mastery impossible to attain.

I’ve discovered this tendency in myself recently when it comes to my craft. I’ve been playing guitar, singing and writing songs for over ten years and music is my greatest passion in life. When it comes to guitar playing, I’ve been at a plateau with my level of ability for several years and I’ve always seen guitar as my “white whale” – the thing that challenges me most. Determined to take my playing to the next level, I started taking lessons recently after being a mostly self-taught player for all these years.

I’ve taken a lesson here or there in the past but I’ve never gone in fully and committed to moving through my limitations and working my weaknesses. The first thing that I came up against is my impatience. I noticed that as soon as I see something I want to be able to do, I get excited about the possibility of being able to do it, quickly followed by extreme frustration at the realization that I can’t do it yet and that it’s gonna take a long time to learn.

This is the pattern that has kept me stuck and at a plateau for years. Every time I discover the edge of my ability and set out to expand my skill set, to grow as a player, I would get very quickly frustrated and lose my focus and will to stay the course. Enter the plethora of distractions that I would turn to in those moments to distract myself from the frustration: pick up the Iphone, “maybe I’ll work on something else”, I’m kinda hungry”, “I’m a little tired, maybe I’ll take a nap”, “I’ll get back at it later or tomorrow”, and on and on.

For the past few weeks, for the first time in a loooooong time, I’ve come to the edge of my ability and stayed with the learning process in the face of frustration, impatience and doubt. I’ve spent hours learning to play a twelve second piece of music that I’ve loved for years and that I never had the will or focus to learn. After avoiding it like the plague for the entirety of my path as a musician, I’ve finally decided to suck it up and learn music theory because I know it will enhance my playing and songwriting exponentially. I’ve been working on the same Beatles song for over two weeks and I’m just now getting to a point where I can really play it and sing it without having to think about what I’m doing. And the truth is, it feels sooooo good to honor my craft, to humbly return to a task over and over again and to revere the practice and the process as much as the outcome. The irony is, I’m growing and expanding faster than I ever did with my impatient approach and I’m investing in myself as an artist in a way that’s enriching my experience of music and creating deeper levels of fulfillment.

The same thing applies to how we live life.

It’s humbling to look at what you can’t do or don’t have and come face to face with what it will take to get from where you are to where you want to go. In order to do this and remain empowered, we must begin with total acceptance of where we are now.

As we come up against our limitations and become aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings, it’s essential to celebrate this awareness – which makes growth and new action in the direction of expansion possible – rather than allowing it to frustrate us or discourage us. Most importantly, we must remind ourselves that learning how to do anything new takes time. Learning how to do anything well takes a long time. And true mastery takes a lifetime.

So whether it’s in the practice of a particular craft, the pursuit of a big dream, the creation of something grand, or in the integration of a particular spiritual teaching or way of living, if you want to be a master and truly own your outcome, patience and surrender to the process are the only way. Once this mentality is adopted, it creates space for us begin with acceptance of where we are now and to truly enjoy every step of the process, with less concern about “getting there” or how long it’s taking.

There are no shortcuts to mastery.  Start from where you are here and now. Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride.

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (May 5th, 2013)

What if I told you that I’ve got something I’m DYING to say but…I’m gonna hold it in.

Or that I just had a life-changing insight but… I’m gonna keep it to myself.

Or that there’s a form of expression that absolutely lights me up but… I’m going to hide it in the closet and never use it.

You’d say that’s just plain CRAZY, right?!!

But we do this. All of us do it. A lot.

I know I do. I hold back. I rationalize. I hide. I procrastinate. I doubt. Until I nearly IMPLODE from having this once luminescent, now radioactive, decaying truth or offering all bottled up inside me.

On a recent episode of Super Soul Sunday, Dr. Brene Brown and Oprah had an in depth chat about fear and shame. One of the biggest revelations from their discussion was Dr. Brown’s statement that “unused creativity is not benign. It gets metastasized as rage, judgment and shame.”

Does that sound a bit drastic?

I believe it. And I’ve experienced it first hand both within myself and in my relationships. It’s that feeling of having something you know you need to express but despite that growing yearning, you keep it sealed in tight and it eats away at you.

There’s no question that fear and shame are a huge part of what cause us to keep within that which is meant to be expressed – fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear of intimacy. And the shame that comes along with each of those fears being realized, or the shame of showing our true colors and letting people see who we really are.

Ever been in a situation where there’s something in your heart you need to express to another? And the more you keep it in, the worse it gets, right? When this happens, the tension becomes palpable and the unspoken truth has the potential to become toxic as time passes, both in how it affects the dynamic of the relationship outwardly and in how we feel internally. This toxicity can manifest as a feeling of being disconnected, frustration, irritation, anger or rage.

The same thing happens to us individually where our creative expression is concerned. If deep down in your heart, you love to sing and you never use your voice, it will speak louder in your subconscious, questioning your sense of self. If you love to write stories or poetry and you never put ink on the page, you’re going to feel that unused talent scratching away at you within.

Thoughts, emotions, and creativity are all forms of energy. Energy is meant to keep moving and when we stop its flow and keep it stuck, it intensifies. If we keep this up and keep it in for too long, that stale energy can wreak havoc spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And this stress definitely takes its toll on our bodies.

And as scary as it can be, the simple solution is often to just speak some truth, share ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions and our gifts, openly and authentically. The act of expressing our truth and releasing it has the power to set us free and completely shift a situation, including how we feel about ourselves. Especially when we are coming from our hearts and there is a loving intention behind our expression, only good can come of it.

Have you been talking yourself out of speaking your truth, telling your story, and sharing your gifts? Are you willing to express yourself and trust that what’s in your heart will set you free?

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (April 28th, 2013)

Dear Dreamer,

I’m so glad you’re here. I closed my eyes last night and was whisked away to a place deep in my imagination’s nooks and I discovered a secret so magical, a kernel of wisdom so precious, a revelation so powerful that I had to share it with you.

And even though my body was still and resting in my bed, even though my experience did not happen in the world of physical reality, in my heart I know it was real and I have not an inkling of doubt that what I saw and heard was true. And even though this was my dream, I am certain that it was not just for me or about me, but that its meaning applies equally to you, my kindred soul.

Here’s what I learned:

Each and every one of us was born for a reason. We were created to dream big, to create freely, to express fully, to love wholeheartedly and to live passionately. For each of us, this purpose’s expression in the world will look different but at its core, the essence is the same. That is, we are all connected by our relationship to one and another and to the Divine forces that gave us life, that beat our hearts and allow us to breathe, and that nudge us towards our highest potential from deep within our souls.

Yes, that nudging is real. And yes, the vision you see in your mind’s eye is not just an idea or a figment of your imagination, it is a preview of what’s to come. Within each of us, there is a seed and it yearns to grow, to sprout up and out into the world and to blossom fully so that its magnificence can radiate forth in gratitude to the heavens and to ignite the sparks of inspiration within all that experience it.

And so, the ultimate reason each of us are born is to discover that seed within us, to nurture it and water it with love, with kindness, with passion, with persistence and most of all, with faith. With faith that the yearning we feel within us is indeed a higher calling. With faith that we are indeed worthy of growing to our full potential and being a light in this world. With faith that the sun will shine on us and the rain will fall on us to provide us all that we need to grow, to rise up and to realize the true purpose for which we were created, the one that is contained within that little seed. With faith at every step that even though we are not there yet, that our path is unfolding in perfect timing and that we are just where we are meant to be.

That, my dear dreamer, is what is real, true and certain. And this world we live in and this reality we believe to be the truth are full of falsehoods and illusions. The beliefs that we have experienced that cause us to doubt ourselves, to limit our potential, to question our dreams and our abilities – those are all lies that keep us from experiencing the fullness of the life, the being, the creation, the existence we dream of.

It’s time to wake up into the reality you have dreamed of for so long and to recognize who you really are and what this life is truly about. It’s time to honor the seed within you and to live to bring forth the masterpiece that you were made to create. You are the masterpiece. You are worthy and you matter. You are one-of-a-kind.

Water that seed and let your love grow. Nurture your vision and let your light shine. Listen to the truth within you and speak it out loud.

You were born for a reason. Your dreams are real.

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (April 14th, 2013)

I have a dream. You have a dream. Yes, we all have dreams that sometimes keep us up at night out of excitement and that get us out of bed in the morning. And yet sometimes those very same dreams seem so far and so out of reach that we want to hide under the covers and can’t find an ounce of energy to put towards them.

Some of them are little mini dreams and some of them are big shiny ones.

I want to talk about those. The ones that require patience, persistence and that take a lifetime to realize. The dreams that movies are made about and that give rise to those magical moments that affirm our own path when we see someone else finally “make it”.

Often times when the path to our dreams feels like it’s going uphill and not getting any easier, we tend to conclude that because it isn’t easy, we’re barking up the wrong tree. And though there may be a very small number of instances where that’s true, it’s the exception, not the rule.

That being said, there’s no question that bringing the big shiny dreams to life takes A LOT of effort, it means consistently showing up and taking action in the face of challenges, obstacles and even failures. All that falling down and getting up again requires some heavy lifting mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And physically for that matter, because to have the necessary energy to make our dreams a reality requires a high level of attention to our bodies as well.

So to say that “if it’s this difficult to realize my dream, it’s not meant to be” is straight up false logic.

BUT… what often happens is that somewhere along the path of doing what we love and moving in the direction of our majestic vision, the very thing that once brought us joy, that was once the source of our bliss, starts to feel like work. And that’s not how it’s meant to be. So we end up with masses of people who love singing but who aren’t singing, who aspire to write but who aren’t writing, fitness nuts who aren’t working out, painters who don’t paint, and on and on it goes.

Why is this happening?

Well, there’s a few reasons. Perfectionism: definitely a prime suspect. Procrastination: also a culprit. But those two P’s in a pod are a subject for another investigation. What we’re talking about here is WHY the very thing we love doing, that we are born to do, that we dream of doing ends up feeling like work and becomes so heavy-laden that we end up not even doing it.

This conflict between our inner desire and outer experience can be simply understood and best explained in relation to PLEASURE and PAIN. As human beings, we are wired to move TOWARDS experiences, situations, and people that will bring us PLEASURE and AWAY from experiences, situations and people that will cause us PAIN.

Tony Robbins teaches that we can use this wiring to leverage past and future experiences of pleasure and pain to create breakthroughs and lasting changes. A simple example is smoking. If a smoker becomes present enough to the amount of pain they will experience if they continue indulging in their addiction or the amount of pleasure they will experience when they are FREE of it, they can generate the necessary motivation to pull the plug on their smoking and step into a new lifestyle.

I completely agree with this model of what it takes to change and break through old patterns and limiting beliefs.

When it comes to dream catching and especially creative expression, there is one refinement I would add: if the primary motivation for taking action is the avoidance of pain, it will not be sustainable and will significantly diminish the enjoyment of the experience of bringing that dream or creation to life. This is because most of the time, the pain we’re avoiding is the pain of some limiting belief coming true, which then causes that belief and the need to “fix it” to be present in our every action and at every step of our journey. i.e. Major buzz kill. Some common examples are the the pain of being a failure; the pain of not being worthy of love, or the pain of realizing that we’re not good enough.

Question for you: what do you think would be more a powerful, sustainable and joy-inducing motivating mindset?
a) If I resolve to play my guitar, sing and write every day because I’m desperately determined to avoid the pain of not being enough, OR
b) if I make the same resolution to experience the fruits of my creative efforts, to be fully expressed creatively and to inspire others?

Hmmm…No-brainer right?

Seen in this light, it’s immediately apparent why moving away from pain as a motivator is not ideal fuel for our creative fire or for the pursuit of our dreams and why it’s not sustainable. Especially given the underlying assumptions that a lot of our pain-avoidance carries (e.g. I’m not good enough, I can’t, It’s too late). It’s no wonder it feels like work when we approach our dreams and creative outlets from this mindset!

What dream have you been approaching with the avoidance of pain as your primary motivator? Can you come up with some pleasure-oriented motivating factors to fuel your action instead?

Share your insights in the comments below so we can all benefit from each other’s perspectives!

Much love,

CA

Published by The Daily Love (April 7th, 2013)

As we move through this life, we all have a very specific idea of how we want it to go. Whether it’s something small like a first date or a job interview, or something bigger like our relationship with our family or a lifelong creative dream, we all have a desire to be in control and affect our preferred outcome.

This often plays out in a “needing to know how it’s gonna go” at every step of the way, which you and I both know can be a great stumbling block and can often keep us from taking any action at all.

This week, I have been humbled on more than one occasion by very clear reminders that my need to be in control, my plan, and my will are not the ultimate determining factors of how it’s all going to unfold. This has forced me (and I’m thankful for the lesson) to practice letting go a little and leaving space for Co-Creation.

When we hold on to our own vision so tight and are so hell-bent on our way being THE only way, we cut ourselves off from the flow of synchronicity, from the help of invisible hands and from the possibility of Co-Creation with the Divine.

In the spirit of this new practice, I decided to record this week’s vlog with no real idea of what I was going to say or how I was going to say it. This brought up a lot of my fears and insecurities about looking bad, not being in control, and having no clue how it was going to go. I had to be really disciplined to keep myself from sneakily planning my ideas and organizing my thoughts but I managed to do it. Here’s what happened…

And…I survived! And the truth is, I actually really enjoyed the experience. I had a sense of aliveness, a thrill and excitement that was only possible in the space of not knowing how it was going to go. And not having it all figured out really forced me to be present, to listen and be open, and to really speak from my heart.

At the end of the day, isn’t that what we really want most? To be fully present to the magic of each moment, to feel our aliveness and the excitement of each experience? To live, breathe, speak and act from our hearts?

So I invite you to explore this practice in your life this week. Where you can let go and leave room for co-creation? Where can you take a leap and trust that you will be caught?

Let’s use the space below to share what we’re taking on and support each other as we let go and see what happens.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (March 17th, 2013)

One of the experiences that we all strive for in our relationships, in our work, in our creative endeavors and in our lives in general, is the ability to just be ourselves. And yet many of us carry the limiting belief that we can’t allow our true colors to show because we won’t be accepted as we are and people will judge or criticize us.

So instead of being true to who we are and showing up completely authentically, we hold back, we hide parts of our personality, we dim our light and we present a version of ourselves that we think people will like and accept. And as we go through life living from this place that is not completely honest, we are never truly fulfilled because we know we’re not being our true selves. On top of that, the way people respond when we show up this way is often a direct reflection of our lack of authenticity and so when we get a less than accepting or loving response, it ends up further entrenching us in the limiting belief. And so the cycle goes.

When we examine this a little further, another perspective is available. What if it’s our own lack of self-love and acceptance that prevents us from experiencing the freedom to be wholeheartedly true to who we really are? What if the lukewarm responses we’re getting from others are actually being caused by the inauthenticity we’re showing up with? What if the lack of fulfillment we feel is directly proportional to our unwillingness to step into REALLY being who we are with no hesitation or apologies?

Over the course of our lifetime, we are told that we need to do this and be that. From early childhood, we’re bombarded with so many rules and standards of how we have to live and be from family to friends to teachers to colleagues. Over time, without realizing it consciously, we assimilate the influences of our culture, religion, community, gender, etc. and adopt their rules and standards as our own.

The end result is this feeling of being stifled, not having the freedom to just be, to fully express ourselves, to rise to our full potential and to let our one of a kind brand of soul light shine BRIGHT! And although we may convince ourselves that it’s THEM who won’t love and accept us, and who will judge us, the truth is that it starts with us.

The only person whose permission you really need to be YOU and to live the life your heart desires is YOU! Any concern you have about how you will be perceived or viewed is your own criticism and lack of self-acceptance standing in your way. That’s the bad news.

The good news is: that means you can choose to give yourself full permission to be the REAL YOU right here, right now. You can let all those rules and expectations go and step into the freedom that choice makes available powerfully, boldly and audaciously and be true to who you really are.

That’s when the magic starts to unfold, that’s when true connection and intimacy become available and it’s from there that you will attract the “right” people, opportunities and experiences.

The jig is up. You’re the one holding the key. Give yourself permission to just be you and set yourself free! That is, of course, if YOU want to.

Much love,

CA

Published by The Daily Love (March 24th, 2013)

Too often in life we second-guess ourselves. We have a funny feeling or a hunch and we don’t listen, only to later realize we were right on the money. This has happened to me many times, and I’ve seen it on countless occasions with friends and clients. Whether it’s an inner knowing that someone we’re dating is no good for us or a sixth sense about which route to take on our drive home from work, we are constantly getting feedback from our internal guidance system and from the world around us, and yet so often we tune it out.

One of the areas where I’ve been seeing this most lately is where spirituality and the realm of the unseen is concerned. All of us have had some experience that reveals to us or hints at the mysteries of life, the presence of Divine forces, the interconnectedness of all beings and a greater meaning in the unfolding of our lives.

And yet we question them and we question ourselves.

We think, “No that wasn’t a sign; I must be imagining things. Or maybe I’m just going crazy.”

We discount the synchronicities as coincidences, we close ourselves off to our connection with the Divine, we say our prayer only half believing it will be heard, let alone answered, and we limit ourselves to a very narrow conception of what life is really all about.

Why do we this?

Mostly, I believe we are scared of being right because it means we have to do something about it. It’s been said that with great knowledge comes great responsibility and when it comes to spiritual wisdom, the weight of what has been revealed to us can be especially daunting. Each seed carries the promise of a beautiful, blossoming flower but we must water it, nurture it and share its splendor with others. With each lesson learned and insight gained, we are called to go deeper and to be a living example of the wisdom we have acquired. Many would rather live in the so-called bliss of ignorance.

True bliss, however, comes from following your heart and listening to the voice of your soul. And sometimes, the path they point towards leads us to dark and unfamiliar places. This is another reason we deny our connection to the Divine and doubt our spiritual experiences, because we’re afraid of where they will take us. We are afraid of what certain people will think of us if we share our stories and experiences, if we shine our light and claim our Divine inheritance of an extraordinary  life. We are afraid of the challenges we will face along the way to our destiny and to our highest potential.

And so we deny, we ignore, we tune out, we discount, we disconnect. All of this amounts to the same basic tendency: second-guessing ourselves and our deeper knowing, our intuition, or our gut feeling. And when we do this, we miss out on the connection to the Truth that is present within us and all around us. We miss out on the gifts of life, the magic and the mystery.

Not only that, but in the absence of rock-solid-faith in and within ourselves, no amount of external validation or Grace can really penetrate our experience and impact us because our seeds of doubt will always hinder our ability to receive and allow them in.

I felt moved to write this to you because I keep hearing people I love and care about expressing their doubts about the Grace that’s been showing up in their lives, the Divinely inspired experiences they have had and the Truth that’s being spoken to them from the voice within.  I’ve witnessed so many instances of intuition being discounted and opportunities missed. And most of all, I’ve seen hearts close and deny their inherent desire to give love unconditionally. I hesitated for a second and then decided to listen to the voice within me and write this for anyone who might need to hear it.

If that’s you, I want to tell you that the synchronicities are real. The voice of your soul that’s calling you to greatness is real. The Divine forces you feel are real. Your prayers are being heard and answered, you might just be distracted by the noise of doubt to hear the answer and to allow the blessings into your life. The connection you feel and the sixth senses you have are real. And your wildest dreams. You guessed it. Those are real, too.

So believe it. Don’t waste another moment doubting or second-guessing what you know deep down inside you to be true. Live courageously and cast your fears aside. Open yourself up to the full spectrum of human experiences that are awaiting you and allow the spiritual essence that is present within us all to guide you. Ask your question sincerely and listen carefully for the reply. It will come. Let down the walls around your heart and love wholeheartedly. You will feel a love and warmth greater than anything you’ve ever experienced. Say your prayer with unshakeable faith and wait for the answer. You will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams.

You’re not crazy. Trust yourself.

Much love,

CA

Published by The Daily Love (Feb 24th, 2013)

Good morning friends,
I’m writing this blog on Day 4 of a clean eating plan that I decided to embark upon after being on the road for a month and feeling like I could use a little tune-up. I’m eliminating processed sugar, caffeine, dairy, wheat and alcohol and I’m already feeling my nerves calming down and the fog slowly lifting. My active mind is also beginning to settle and I’ve been feeling a consistent level of energy from morning til night. I’m committed to staying on this path and to really creating a sustainable lifestyle that allows me to create, live and express at my full potential.

I was sharing this with a friend yesterday and something they said has stuck with me. It was something along the lines of: “I don’t have the discipline that you do.” All I heard when they carried on was multiple versions of and justifications for the belief “I can’t”.

What my friend failed to consider is that there was a time when I was standing in those very same shoes, wondering how the heck I was going to get out of the woods of a lifestyle of smoking, drinking, not eating well and not taking care of my body.

The thing I’ve come to realize about this is that “I can’t” is just a really disempowering way of saying “I don’t know how to yet” or even better “I haven’t yet”. Anything is possible. A-NY-THING! And all it takes is a crisp decision and enough desire to back that decision up with the necessary amount of action to make it stick.

Smoking is my favorite example and I can speak it about because I’ve been there. I was a bona fide smoker for over ten years. There was a time when I thought I would never be able to kick it and I feared that I’d be a smoker for life and worse yet, that I would die of a horrible smoking-related disease.

Despite the habitual element of smoking and all the reasons that people come up with to justify the continued self-inflicted torture that all smokers endure, at the root of it all, smoking is caused by an addiction to nicotine, one of the most addictive drugs known to man. The physical withdrawal from nicotine is real but not all that significant and certainly not insurmountable (trust me, I’ve been there and back a few times). But that’s not what keeps people smoking*. The true culprit is the fear of what life will be like without it and in most cases, fear of what they will have to go through to get to the other side. In other words, it’s that voice that says: “I can’t”.
When it comes to smoking or any other self-defeating behavior that is largely held in place by fear-based mental constructs and patterns, the solution is clear and simple:

Make a decision and stick to it.

There is a voice inside every smoker that whispers of freedom and that dreams of a life of good health and clean lungs. There is a voice inside each and every one of us that whispers of freedom from self-inflicted mental and emotional suffering, and that dreams of a life built on empowering beliefs and a healthy sense of self.

This is the voice of Truth and it speaks of what’s possible. The only thing separating us from the reality that it points towards is a little bit of uncertainty, a little bit of discomfort and an iron-clad commitment to staying the course.

If you were to decide RIGHT NOW that you wanted to be free from your addiction to nicotine or sugar or sex or TV or Facebook, self-pity or negative self-talk, all you have to do is make a decision that you will NOT smoke that cigarette, eat that sweet, indulge in the behavior in question.

Despite fears to the contrary, I can promise that NOT doing any of the above will not kill you. Yes, you will be uncomfortable, you might feel a pinch, you might become temporarily irritable and you might be tempted to turn back and give in. BUT…if your resolve to stick to your decision and honor the voice of Truth within you is strong, nothing can make you go back. You are the one who gets to decide how it goes and you can turn what was once an “I can’t” to “I can and I did” and now “I know how to” and can help others to do the same.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t seek additional help or support in overcoming the behavior in question. In fact, in many cases, that can help you strengthen your resolve and stick to your decision. It also doesn’t mean you can’t do some prep and psych yourself up mentally before tearing off the band-aid but the truth is that you will never be full ready and the only way to get there is to take the leap.

On the other side of the forest of uncertainty and discomfort is the life you’ve been longing for and limitless possibilities.

I’ve gotten to “I can” many times by making a decision and sticking to it. I know you can to.

How about NOW?

Much love,

Chris

* For more help becoming smoke-free, check out Alan Carr’s “Easy Way To Stop Smoking”. It’s by far the most successful cessation method out there and you can pick up a copy at your local bookstore.

Published by The Daily Love (Feb. 11th, 2013)

This is a pep talk. If you’re reading this, chances are you could use a loving kick in the butt. So here it is.

Dreams come true. They do. All you need to do is look around and you’ll see it happening everywhere. Justin Bieber. Katy Perry. Barack Obama. Oprah Winfrey. Mastin Kipp. Pick your hero or success story of choice. The list is endless.

So what about you? What’s it going to take for you to be on that list? Why aren’t your dreams coming true?

The truth is they are coming true. Right now, as we speak. It’s all happening for you. The Uni-verse is conspiring in your favor and unseen forces are working around the clock to deliver you the very things that your soul desires most. It’s true.

There’s only one small problem: you keep getting in the way. Doubt. Getting in the way. Feelings of unworthiness. Getting in the way. Laziness. Yup, in the way.

Let’s talk basic physics for a second. Everything at its most basic level is made of up energy. Thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions are energy in motion. Consider that your deepest wishes and desires, your affirming beliefs, your hard work, along with all of the synchronistic forces at play to bring them to reality make up an energy force moving you and your life in the direction of your dreams.

The real science nerds among you (that included me once upon a time) will know that the technical term for a particular amount of energy moving in a particular direction is called a vector. Let’s call this one Vector D (for Dreams).

————>
Dreams

Now suppose that all your fears, doubts, disempowering beliefs, laziness, bad habits, etc. make up a force of energy that is moving in the opposite direction. We’ll call this one Vector R (for Resistance).

<———————
Resistance

Now you don’t need to be a genius or a rocket scientist to figure out that if R is greater than D – meaning that if the sum of energy consisting of all those forces moving you away from your dreams is greater than the sum of energy of all those forces moving you towards your dreams – then you will never get there.

It also follows that the rate at which you get there will be directly proportional to the distance from you to your dream, divided by the magnitude or size of Vector D.

Huh? I’ll say that again in simple terms. Your dream will come true faster if you put all your energy – every thought, every belief, every action – towards the realization of that dream. And the bigger the dream, the more crucial it is that you get the heck out of the way and align yourself with the forces that are bringing it to reality by eliminating any of the Resistance that’s holding you back.

How do you do this? By being diligent. By being relentless. By being audacious and stubborn in your belief that it IS happening, that you ARE worthy, and that ANYTHING is possible.

And what does that look like? It looks like all your will, all your life force, all your creative energy being channeled and applied to bringing your dreams to life. Steven Pressfield calls it “turning pro”. Marie Forleo calls it “starting before you’re ready”. Mastin calls it “showing up every day”. I call it getting out of the way. It comes down to playing full out and giving yourself the best chance possible at success.

Coming back to dream science for a second, the point is simple. Make D as big as you can and do your best to minimize or eliminate R. Practically speaking, that means cut out the doubting, the toiling back and forth, the second-guessing yourself, your abilities and your worthiness. Cut out the procrastinating, the self-medicating, and the perfectionism. That’s all you getting in the way and making R bigger than D.

As for making D bigger, that happens by magnifying your faith, your empowering beliefs, your deepest desires and working your ASS off to make your dreams come true!

Got it? Good!

Pep talk over.

So….How fast do you want your dreams to come true?

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (Feb. 3rd, 2013)

Do you ever wake up feeling like you’re already behind?

The feeling can range from a subtle sense of unease that whispers “Let’s go, time to get up” to a heavy angst that shouts “GET UP!!! You’re life is passing you by!” It’s that feeling that makes us not want to get out of bed even when we’ve had a full nights rest and that torments us more and more with every second we lie there. It’s like the weight of all our burdens and the to-do’s we’ve been neglecting have caught up with us during our sleep and on this particular morning, the piper has come to claim its dues.

I woke up this morning feeling a little off with no immediate explanation as to why. I slept plenty and had a restful night. There were no terrible dreams that I could recall. I looked out my window at the beautiful beachfront view and saw the ocean, the blue sky and the sun in full shine. No worries there. I had a great night last night hanging with a dear friend of mine and went to sleep happy and peaceful. Tonight I’ll be playing a special show in Sydney to a full house of my Aussie “hometown” crowd for the finale of what has been an incredible tour that began three weeks ago.

Aha…there’s a clue. Maybe it’s got something to do with what’s on the agenda for tonight. I dug a little deeper.

“Am I nervous about the show?”

Maybe a little, but nothing more than usual. Although upon some inspection, some of the typical negative stories were lurking. “What if nobody shows up? What if my voice isn’t there for me when I need it? What if they don’t like my new songs? Blah, blah, blah!”

None of that was helping the cause but I knew there was more to it. I’ve heard all that junk enough to know that it may be a symptom of something greater but that it’s not the root cause. So what was it?

The key word in that one sentence that gave me a clue was “finale”. I’ve spent the last few weeks fully immersed in this tour, playing the game of life full out, giving all my attention and energy to my craft, the shows and the experiences that this adventure have brought me. I’ve been fully PRESENT and now that it’s all coming to an end, that unpleasantly familiar and extremely threatening question that haunts us all both in good times and bad, is back.

“What’s next?” (insert twilight zone music).

We’ve all had the experience of going to sleep the night before a long-anticipated trip or event when we’re so excited and lit up that we can hardly wait for our alarm to go off the next morning. We’ve also all had the experience of waking up on the last day of our trip, or on the day of that special event with that feeling of emptiness or dread that comes from the object of our excitement being gone or almost over.

And in that space, one of two things can happen. We can get excited about what’s ahead or we can get depressed or confronted by it. The latter option is what tends to happen and that’s because when we don’t know what’s next, our monkey minds kick in and tell us their favorite disempowering stories about how it’s not going to work out, that the best is over, that we’re too late, and that we’re not enough so we might as well give up. This is the definition of future-tripping and when we do it, it’s no surprise we wake up feeling off and wanting to hide under the covers!

Now that we have an understanding and awareness of what triggers this kind of thinking, we can kick it in the butt.

Here’s the secret: when we reach those points in our life where there is space from one chapter’s end and a new beginning, it’s crucial that we consciously create an empowering story about the future we’re living into. Whether it’s the end of a long-term relationship, a job we’ve worked at for years, the completion of a creative project or a move to a new city, the same principle applies.

If we look ahead with doubtful eyes and question what’s coming our way, always keeping one eye on what we’re leaving behind and not fully trusting in the perfect, Divine unfolding of our lives, we will feel crappy, helpless and stressed. Because of our human nature and survival instincts, this is the default.

If, on the other hand, we look ahead with faith and believe that it’s going to be great, that the future holds so much opportunity for us, that the life we truly desire is coming our way, that there is Grace in the changes we’re facing and that life is happening for us, we will feel good, empowered and excited. It’s a simple choice but it requires great awareness and consistent practice to stay present to the possibilities in moments of uncertainty.

Perhaps like me, right now you are in one of those moments, in the space between what has been and what will be. What if you’re the one who gets to say how it’s going to unfold? What if the future holds a life for you that is beyond your wildest imaginings? What if the story you tell yourself about the life you will be living tomorrow will determine how you feel today?

Much love,
Chris

Published by The Daily Love (Jan 27th, 2013)

Life is like the ocean. The ocean is vast and it’s a force of nature that is greater than the sum of all the drops that make it up and all the creatures within it. So, too, is life. It is unpredictable and there are waves. There are calm days and there are rough days. Sometimes it’s warm and inviting, sometimes it’s cold and scary. The ocean is deep and there is much to explore beneath its surface, but we can only experience its fullness and depth by venturing in. And it’s always a little more enjoyable when the sun is shining

I love the beach and despite growing up in a cold climate, I’ve always been most at peace when I’m near water. I’m currently in Northern Sydney, enjoying a day off from my tour schedule at a friend’s place, which overlooks a beautiful, cozy little beach.

Yesterday, we made our way down to the golden sand and blue water for some sunshine, some frisbee (my new favorite hobby) and a swim. Despite every intention to get in the ocean and get in on the action, I found myself doing the usual song and dance. I put one foot in and winced at the cold. “Maybe I’ll go in later,” the thought occurred to me. “Nah, I’ll go in now.” And yet I still hesitated, taking one step forward and one back. Resisting the waves crashing at my shins, then my knees, then my waist. ”Ah, it’s cold! I’m getting wet!” The dubious, whiny voice in my head continued on.  Until eventually, I was in. All in. And guess what happened?

It felt AMAZING! I adjusted to the temperature and the water began to feel warmer. I had so much fun swimming and crashing into the waves. I was smiling and laughing and felt like a kid again. When I emerged, I was energized and refreshed. What a shame it would have been if I had let that fearful, hesitant voice talk me out of going in.

And yet every time I go to the beach, I do the same thing. I take forever to just get in the water even though I know I’m going to love it once I do. I stand on the shore and admire the surfers, daydreaming about riding a wave with such grace. I wonder how it would feel to dive deep into the underworld of the ocean and discover its treasures. But when it comes time to go for it, I stall, I hesitate, I rationalize, I analyze, I let fear slow me down and keep me away from the experience I really want.

When I think about it, I did the same thing with this Aussie tour. A few months ago, the opportunity presented itself for me to return to my beloved Australia for a few festivals and some great shows. Instead of just going for it and moving full steam ahead, I questioned and tossed and turned. I almost pulled the plug on the whole thing coming up with this reason and that reason why it wasn’t the right thing for me at this time. And yet, every time I come here, I have an incredible time. I learn, I grow, I expand, I connect with an amazing and ever-growing community of friends and I get to do what I LOVE for appreciative audiences in beautiful settings. Hellooooo??!!!

So why the hesitation?

Whenever we stand on the shores of the ocean of life, it’s easy to shrink back in fear of what will happen if we go in. A small amount of this fear may be warranted because within the great unknown, there lies some danger.

But the truth is that what we are really most afraid is the unknown itself. And most of that fear is just an illusion, or a figment of our imagination. We don’t know what’s waiting for us in there and so we fear the worst. “What if I can’t? What if I fail? What if they laugh at me? What if I get hurt? What if I die?”

And the greater truth is that the experiences we are really after, the ones that are going to genuinely fulfill us and cause us to reach our potential and become our highest selves, live in the vast unknown. The life we really desire requires us to brave the cold sometimes, to get dirty, to get wet, to dismiss our irrational fears, to take risks and just go for it. All the time we spend hesitating, questioning and second-guessing our internal pull towards the experiences our soul is calling for is just keeping us from the joy, the fulfillment and the life we truly want.

This morning, I went back to the beach. As I approached the water, I decided to take a different approach. I made a straight run for it and dove in headfirst. It felt sooooo good to skip all the back and forth and go right to the good part. Next time, my friend is taking me out for a surf…

Life is an ocean of experiences. Dive right in!

Much love,
CA

Published by The Daily Love (Jan 20th, 2013)

Hey friends,

I’m writing this blog from Melbourne, Australia (one of my favorite places on earth). I’m one week into a twelve-date tour which will include shows in some of my most beloved Aussie cities like Sydney and Melbourne, as well as some festivals in more rural areas like Tasmania. One of the things I love most about being on tour and being away is that it gives me a chance to observe myself out of my usual element and create new daily rituals.

Today for the first time in a LONG time, I woke up and decided not to check my phone and all the trappings of email, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, as I often do while lying in bed.

I quickly realized that in the space created by this choice, I could be with my own thoughts and feelings, something I believe in strongly but that I’m noticing I don’t do as much as I could. And my deVICES (iPhone, laptop, etc.) are a huge culprit.

I’ve always known that having a pocket-sized computer with access to a bottomless well of distractions could stand in the way of working through a to-do list, but what I’ve overlooked is the shallow connection it has caused in my relationship with myself, and others.

This is because it’s so easy to hide in cyberworld instead of REALLY living in the real world, or even scarier, navigating our own inner world. What I’ve been observing in myself is that whenever a thought or feeling comes up that I don’t “like”, I go to my menu of options and plug into the rolling stream of distractions and before I know it, I’ve successfully avoided the thing I was escaping.

But have I really? The truth is that the more time we spend scrolling our newsfeeds and clearing our inboxes, the more and more cluttered our own internal inbox ends up getting. Before we know it, our best ideas are buried so far down that we never get to them, the emotions that we most desperately need to work through and FEEL get neglected and we end up with an internal backlog that results in a pervasive sense of unease and listlessness.

Have you ever spent hours on the computer getting stuff done and seeking the sense of peace that comes with an empty inbox and list of crossed off to-do’s only to feel uneasy and unsettled? Yup, you know what I’m talking about.

Well, I’m no stranger to that feeling and I’m realizing that all the energy and attention that I invest in online communication, texting, social media and all the rest of it is coming at a cost. Most of all, it has been coming at the expense of time that I could be spending being present, going deeper within, cultivating new ideas and tuning into to my own creative voice.

The same thing applies to our relationship with others. The sight of people sitting across from each other while sharing a meal or a coffee, but being totally distracted and disconnected because they are looking at their phones is all too common these days. Instead of really engaging with one another, being fully present and giving people our full attention, we end up having more shallow interactions and the kind of intimacy and closeness that we all deeply long for continues to evade us. And what for? We may have seen the most recent tweet or status update, we may have responded to that email or message in record time, but is it really worth it if it costs us what our soul yearns for and results in that same feeling of emptiness and disconnectedness?

Seeing all of this so clearly in the space of this morning’s simple abstention has inspired me to go further with this and see what comes. My objective is to practice mindfulness around the use of my devices for the next week by keeping it to the absolute necessary minimum and by setting aside a specific window of time on certain days for communications that NEED to be sent out.

I know it’s going to take some discipline. I know I may miss some stuff and that it will be a challenge to let texts, emails, and the like go unacknowledged at times. I also know it’s for a great cause, so I’m going for it.

My hope is that the space it affords me will help me to be more present for myself and others, to have greater awareness of my internal dialogue, and to connect more deeply to the voice of the Divine within me. In that space and with that connection as my foundation, I know a deeper sense of calm and peace will be available and that I will more easily find the expression of my own creative voice. In fact, I feel as though it’s already happening.

Who’s in?

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (January 12th, 2013)

Are you feeling stuck?

I know the feeling. In fact, I’ve been in the thick of it for the past little while now, too. Perhaps it’s the time of year. As one year comes to a close and another begins, it’s easy to feel the pinch of time passing by. Whether it’s looking back at the year that’s just passed and feeling like there’s so much that you could have done but didn’t, or feeling overwhelmed at the challenge of stepping it up and doing one better in the year ahead, it can weigh on us.

This kind of thinking also has a way of immediately taking us out of the present moment and cutting us off from the source of our power. Our power lies in our ability to take action in the present moment and in order to do that, we must be…yup, you guessed it: PRESENT.

I know that word gets used a lot and we’ve become somewhat desensitized to it, so let’s go a little deeper. What does it really mean to be present? Well, in the very simplest of terms, it means being focused on the HERE and NOW, which means not being in some thought about the past or the future. Focusing on the breath always helps, as does FEELING the body from within. Paying extra close attention to the sights, sounds and smells in our immediate surroundings works, too. Go ahead and give one of those a try for a minute or two and when you’ve truly arrived to the HERE and NOW, say “Present!”

Ok so we’re present. Awesome. NOW what? Well, from this place of presence, clarity emerges and there’s space to create. And the way to create is to take action. And the more action we take from this place of presence, the more clarity emerges as we learn what’s working for us and what isn’t, what feels good and what doesn’t.

So the solution to being stuck is very simple. Step one, get out of your head and into the present moment. With full acceptance of where you are and a little love for good measure (just turn your attention to your beating heart and that will do the trick), you are then ready to make a move.

Now, here’s the REALLY IMPORTANT part. Step two, ask yourself what one small action you can take that will make you feel good, and a little less stuck. Don’t overthink it or else you may end up in a mind-movie about yesterday or tomorrow. Just listen for the first and clearest answer that comes and go with that. Once you have it, get busy doing that one thing while continuing to remain present and giving it your full attention. And bingo! You’re on your way!

Wash. Rinse. Repeat and before you know it, the feeling of being stuck will be a distant memory (which you won’t be focusing on because you’ll be too busy being present and taking the next action!) Right?!

Here’s the thing, we all have a grand vision for ourselves and for our life. We have this burning passion inside of us that’s dying to be expressed. The common challenge we face is the practical aspect of actually bringing that vision to life.

When we stand at the foot of a mountain and look at the peak, it’s easy to get ahead of ourselves and focus on being at the top or to think back to other mountains we climbed and struggles we endured along the way. But as you well know, the only way to get there is to take one, small step at a time.

If reaching the mountaintop is what our soul is calling us to do, anything other than a step in that direction, including standing at the foot of the mountain daydreaming about the journey or the arrival at our destination will ultimately feel like time wasted and will keep us feeling…STUCK.

If this has been going on for a while, our critical minds will turn on us and begin to tell us all kinds of stories about why we’re never gonna get there and how our dreams are just that.

The solution is to take our power back. The way to do that is by building up our confidence, which comes from having trust in ourselves. Trust is a reflection of our belief in something, which comes from the experience of reality-testing that belief and seeing how it holds up. So the way to build up trust and confidence in ourselves is by saying we’re going to do something and then doing it. Period.

Every time we set our sights on the next action, the next small step, and we follow through, we learn to trust in what we say to ourselves and we get the experience of being who we believe ourselves to be. With every promise kept, we gain a little more confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Soon, we find ourselves moving forward with momentum and a little extra pep in our step as the mountaintop that once seemed so far away is now well within reach.

So if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, come back to the present and reclaim your power. Ask yourself: “What’s one small action I can take that will make me feel good and help me move forward?”

You know what to do next!

Much love,

CA

Written for The Daily Love (Jan. 6th, 2013)

We all have multiple personalities. Or at the very least, we have multiple aspects of our personalities. There’s a part of us that knows it’s destined for greatness, that sees others shining their light in the world and that knows we have our own light to shine and gifts to give. There’s a part of us that’s fearless, that’s audacious and that’s creatively invincible. Yes, there’s that part of us that dreams big and that sees nothing but possibilities and opportunities when it looks out into the world and looks ahead in life.

There’s also a part of us that doesn’t believe we’re worthy of what we truly desire, that’s afraid to really put it out there and that fears failure and rejection. That same part of us tells us all kinds of lies and defeating stories about why we can’t, why we shouldn’t and why we will never realize our dreams or become the person we wish to be.

Last month, I attended Tony Robbins’ incredible event “Date With Destiny” and I got to come face to face with many aspects of my personality. One of the biggest lessons I learned about myself is that I can be a big BRAT sometimes. Yup, it’s true.

Growing up, I was always showered with love, told how amazing I was and spoiled with everything I could ask for. In many ways, that’s a beautiful thing and I will likely take a similar approach with my children one day, with one small refinement. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

The most common way that the brat shows up in me is with a “what can I get?” view of the world and a sense of entitlement. Another way of saying this is that I would look around me with nothing but EXPECTATIONS instead of APPRECIATION. Operating from this place, no amount of love, praise, or success was ever enough to fill me. And what’s even worse is that it resulted in a rather selfish disposition to life and people. Despite being what I considered to be a loving and giving person, I realized that even when I was giving, loving or being generous, I was doing so with the intent of getting something in return.

This revelation cracked me open and smacked right across the face. It took me hearing someone else admit that they had been selfish before I really allowed the ah-ha to hit me as well. But when it did, it changed everything.

It’s now been a month since that insight and I can honestly say that it has changed me in a profound way. For one, I named that part of myself that’s always thinking about itself and that’s always looking to see what it can get. I call him Narci-Christopher. By the way, that’s the same part of me that has a boatload of insecurities, that tells me I can’t, that doubts my dreams and my abilities, that sabotages my success and that looks at life as though there’s never enough. When I catch Narci-Christopher in action, or become aware of some his usual thoughts or emotions, I consciously choose to change my state and change the channel and tune in to the voice of my higher self, whom I call C+.

C+ is the part of me that knows I’m capable of greatness and destined to play a big game in this world and live the life of my dreams. C+ also includes the audacious, spunky and sometimes bad ass kid that I once was, and the courageous, free, masculine man that I am at my core. These are parts of myself that I’d lost touch with for a long time but I was able to reclaim them at DWD.

The biggest difference of all though is that C+ looks at the world and asks “What can I give?” and is focused on appreciation versus expectations. This small but significant shift alone is a game-changer. Living life from this place, we find ourselves giving of our love, of our time, of our energy, and of ourselves, not to get anything in return but with an understanding that the real joy and gift is in the giving. I’ve been practicing this with my family and friends and it has created a radically different experience. Love is flowing more freely and I’ve begun to understand what being of service actually means. What’s most amazing to me is that this way of being makes true fulfillment possible where it would have never been possible before.

Shifting my focus from expectations to appreciation, I’ve become present to how truly blessed I am and realize just how much abundance there is all around me, as well as within me. When we have such rigid expectations of how things “should” be, there are so many ways for those expectations to go unmet, creating an experience of frustration or disappointment. When we choose to look with thankful eyes and see what we have, what we’ve been given, what is rather than what isn’t, happiness and fulfillment are instantaneous and always available.

So what about you? Can you identify some of the different aspects of your personality? What would you name them? Most importantly, what would life be like if you asked what you can give instead of what you can get and turned your expectations into appreciation?

Much love,
C+

Published by The Daily Love (Dec. 30th, 2012)

Hello friends,

If you’re reading this blog, that means that Sunday came around this week and that we survived the highly anticipated “end of the world”. Phew! No disrespect to the Mayans, but I can honestly say that I wasn’t too concerned about the predictions coming true in the literal sense. Nonetheless, the implications of such a monumental possibility got me digging deep and thinking about what’s next for us.

What if December 21st, 2012 was a day that symbolically marked the end of the world as we have known it thus far? There is no question that we are at a most crucial moment in history and that the choices we make will have massive consequences for the future of the planet and the human race.

With all the knowledge, technology and wisdom that we have available to us today, along with the experience and mistakes of previous generations and societies to learn from, we are in a unique position to forge a new path and change the world we live in for the better.

On one hand, this is an exciting time and we have so much to celebrate as there is an undeniable wave of spiritual awakening and elevation of consciousness that is happening worldwide. A tribe of souls that are committed to bringing forth light on the planet are coming together and people of all races, colors, and creeds are uniting in the name of peace, love and humanity. On the other hand, there is an increasing threatening cloud of darkness looming over our heads as new wars are being waged, inter-faith and political discord escalate and senseless tragedies such as the recent shootings in Connecticut continue to happen.

Right now, here, today, we are at a defining moment in the evolution of our species, and it’s in our hands to determine which way we will go. If the ever-expanding forces of good are going to outshine the uprising of darkness, each and every one of us has to do our part.

How can we do this? First, by accepting, acknowledging and understanding that we matter, that every small contribution or act makes a difference. From this perspective, we are all responsible. We can sit idly by waiting for something to happen or for someone else to fix it, or we can do everything in our power to spread love, to better ourselves and our communities, and to be the change that we want to see in the world.

For each of us, the specific focus and actions that we take may be different, but the spirit with which we live and breathe and act is what will unify our efforts. The transformation begins within each of us and is then magnified by how we choose to show up in the world. Every thought, every emotion, every word and every deed count and will impact the global ecosystem which we live in.

So let us treat this moment in time as a new beginning and let us collectively commit to living more from our hearts, to speaking up and standing for the things that truly matter, and to cherish this beautiful life we’ve been given. Let us take this opportunity to set our sights on a new future for the earth and for humanity, and let us each do our part to bring it forth one step at a time, one prayer at a time, one smile at a time, one positive change at a time.

My greatest wish is that our actions be love-inspired, that we might live passionately and with purpose to bring about peace so that we can truly enjoy this gift of life.

What’s your wish for our future? What’s one small thing you can do right now to make a difference?

Much love,

Chris

Published by The Daily Love (Dec. 23rd, 2012)

So I’m sitting in a movie theater with my 3D glasses on waiting for Rise Of The Guardians to start and I had a revelation. It was a rainy Wednesday night in Venice and despite a strong pull to stay in and have a quiet night, I decided to take myself out on an Artist Date* to dinner and a flick. My fav restaurant was closed (insert sad face) so I had a quick bite and made my way to the box office. I was early for my movie so I grabbed some popcorn, found a prime seat and munched away while waiting for the movie to start.

I spent the first few minutes distracting myself on my iPhone with the usual suspects, Facebook, Twitter, etc. and then my phone died. I looked up and looked around and the only other people in the theater were a couple who were snuggling and giggling. The thought went through my head that I wished I had some company, too, and that it was kind of sad that I was at the movies all by myself. Before my wheels could start spinning on that melancholy note, I caught myself and it hit me…If I can’t enjoy my own company, how will anyone else?

This comes back to the widely held belief that there’s someone out there who will “complete” us. So many of us are not happy with ourselves and unfulfilled in our lives, and we sit around hoping and waiting for some mystical, fantastical character to show up and rescue us. Now I don’t want to be like the Boogey Man who ruins the children’s belief in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but the truth is that the “knight in shining armor” (ladies) and “princess charming” (gentlemen) you’ve been dreaming about and waiting for isn’t real.

Now I’m not saying that there isn’t a very someone special out there for each of us. In fact, I’m a true romantic and I believe in soul mate love. I also believe that as great as life can be when lived alone, the human experience is meant to be shared and magnified by the presence of another. In a relationship, we get to deepen our experience of being alive. When we are blessed to find the right partner and choose to walk the spiritual path together, it is life’s greatest opportunity for learning and growth. What I am saying is that to attract such a partner, and to recognize them as the one for us when they show up, we must know and love ourselves. The more time we spend exploring our inner world and becoming familiar with our emotions, our thoughts, our beliefs and our desires, the more we will know what we want in a partner and in a relationship.

In the study of human sexuality, it is widely accepted that a person who has experienced an orgasm through self-pleasure is much more likely to reach climax with a partner than someone who hasn’t. The same thing applies to our ability to have a deep emotional and spiritual connection with another soul. First we must experience this level of intimacy within ourselves through self-exploration, personal growth, meditation, as well as simply enjoying life and discovering our likes and passions. Having this intimate knowledge of the self makes it possible to openly welcome another into the depths of our being in a way that will foster meaningful connection and a lasting relationship. Also, to the extent that we’re able to enjoy life on our own and accept ourselves as we are, we will be much more likely to enter a relationship from a place of wholeness rather than insecurity, a difference that can make or break it.

There are those who have taken this line of thinking too far and who believe that in order to be ready for relationship, we need to be perfect, or arrive at some final destination at which point we’re good to go. This is also an illusion because we’re all works in progress and the spiritual path is a journey with no singular end point. The happy medium lies in embarking on the journey and at least having some experience with self-love and knowledge before entering into a relationship. Knowing how much is enough and when you are ready is personal and it’s up to you to know. As you get to know yourself, you’ll know

So with that in mind, are you ready to get to know yourself more intimately and start loving yourself? Can you take yourself out on a date and enjoy your own company?

Give it a try, you’ll be amazed at what you discover!

Much love,

Chris

*Artist Date: a solo adventure or outing you go on to connect with and inspire the artist within, as prescribed in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.

Published by The Daily Love (Dec. 16th, 2012)

From very early on in life, we are taught implicitly that love is conditional. Whether it’s a well-intended “good boy” when we open wide for that extra spoon of apple sauce, the hugs we got when we would hurt ourselves, or the bonus allowance we’d score for a good grade, all of these little exchanges instill the idea that you need to do something or become something to get something you want. And underneath all of our wants and needs, our deepest desire is to be loved.

Put two and two together and you have a recipe for a lifetime of striving and suffering based on the idea that we don’t just get to be loved as we are. Love is often given as a reward for action and achievement. The resulting message we get is that we can’t just accept and love ourselves here and now without any reason or rhyme. Oh no, we have to sweat and struggle and work to get better and better until we one day arrive at the promised Neverland of perfection and worthiness.

I’ve spent a long time going down that road and chasing that elusive destination, and I’m officially done with it. And it took a huge spiritual kick in the ass to get me to this point. I get a lot of love from a lot of different places in my life. Just you being here reading this blog is a form of love and acknowledgement (thank you). I also have an extremely loving and supportive family and an ever-growing tribe of soul family in Toronto, New York, Los Angeles, and Australia. I’m not saying this to brag but to highlight how INSANE I would have to be to complain that I don’t get enough love. But there’s that troublesome word again. How much is “enough”? And believe me when I tell you that in my moments of greatest achievement, in those moments when I have been on the biggest stages, and sometimes even when I’m surrounded by those who love me most, that feeling has still haunted me. Something’s still missing.

Here’s what I’ve discovered. As long as we operate in a reality where we believe that love is conditional, no amount of love or acknowledgment or praise or notoriety will ever be enough to fill us up or makes us feel complete. And the reason is that if we have the belief that love is earned, not given, whether we know it or not, it will completely limit our ability to love ourselves WHOLEHEARTEDLY. And if we’re not loving ourselves wholeheartedly, fully and completely, then we will always feel like something is missing and we will continue to live our lives in search of the next achievement, the next epiphany, the next notch on our spiritual belt so that we can get “better” and be more “worthy” in order to….yup, get more love. And so the cycle goes.

So here’s the solution: the quest for more, bigger, better STOPS NOW. Close your eyes, breathe deeply and slowly, and go within. Really allow yourself to tune into your heart and feel all the love in there. Feel your connection to the Divine’s infinite supply of love and goodness. Once you’ve made contact, allow yourself to become present to the truth of who you really are, of your oneness with all that love, of your right to claim and use every last drop of it, right here, right now, just as you are. If you don’t believe me, ask your heart if its love is  unconditional. If you get any answer other than a resounding “yes”, that’s your mind talking. (It’s ok, we love the mind, too, but we don’t need its input on this one.) Remember that you’re already worthy and that there is no condition upon your ability or right to experience all that love and be embraced by it. Notice any blocks to your experience of that whole heart full of love and notice any part of your heart that’s holding back. Let them go and say goodbye to the experience of being unfulfilled, incomplete and dissatisfied. Release yourself from the need to constantly work, struggle and fight for every little drop of love you can get. Immerse yourself completely in the warm, cozy embrace of your own heart’s love as though you’re giving yourself a huge energetic hug.

How does that feel? Pretty good, right? That’s how the un-conditioning happens. By feeling more and thinking less. By gently reminding ourselves over and over again that love is UN-CONDITIONAL. By remembering that you are and have always been enough, and worthy of all the love you desire. And the best part is, all the love you could ever want and more is in your own heart. It’s a bottomless well of love and the only thing stopping you from experiencing its fullness and splendor is that false belief that love is anything but free. It’s yours to have, to feel, to share, to give and to experience. It always has been.

So the search is over. There’s nothing left to do, or get or become. You have all the love that you seek. You ARE the love that you seek and you are here to experience it fully and to share it with others. And from there, you can be, do or have anything you set your sights on, not because you have to, but because you choose to.

Much love,
Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Dec. 9th, 2012)

Let’s be honest, regardless of how spiritual we are and how much love we have in our hearts, we are going to encounter people in our lives or things in the people in our lives that we don’t like. Ahhhhh…There I said it! And it feels good to just be real about these things, doesn’t it?

One of the pitfalls of doing personal growth work or going deep on the spiritual path is that we sometimes adopt unrealistic expectations of ourselves. One kernel of truth is that when we are present to the connectedness of all beings, we gain access to a place within from which we can truly love our enemy as our brother. Another truth is that true love is unconditional and that we do not have to do anything to earn it or become anything to be worthy of it. Another truth still is that we’re not going to like everyone we come to know and everything we experience in this life and that’s ok!

Now this is far from intended to be a license to go around being a jerk and treating people badly. In fact, it’s a tall challenge that I’m presenting. The question is: can you be present to a feeling of love for someone that you don’t like? Or can you be loving with a friend, spouse or colleague even when you’re being met with a behavior or trait that drives you up the wall? Can you look at the quality or behavior that you don’t like and learn something about yourself from it? Can you use your dislikes as cues to be more patient, more accepting and more tolerant?

Just in case you aren’t quite with me or this isn’t really resonating, I’ll give a personal example so you know what I’m talking about.

I love my mother. (You know where this is going…LOL). No but seriously, I REALLY love my mother. A lot. She is the most loving, caring, nurturing woman I know. She has always done anything and everything she could for me and she is a kick-ass mom through and through. She’s always ready to drop whatever she’s doing for those she loves. She carries the burden of her loved ones’ worries as if they are her own. She’s an amazing woman, mother, grandmother and doctor. I could go on, but you get the picture. So yeah, my mom’s the bomb, but guess what? Sometimes, she drives me effin’ nuts! There are instances where her way of doing things triggers me in ways I can’t even explain. It could be something as simple as her giving me a suggestion on what to order at a restaurant. Even though she’s coming from her motherly loving place and she takes pride in knowing what I like, I experience it as though I’m being treated like a child instead of a grown man and I don’t like it! (read in whiny voice) #irony

The point is that even though there are things my mom does that I “don’t like” or that totally push my buttons, I can always choose to look from that place in my heart where I love her and see the best in her. In fact, it’s in those moments that my love really gets to be put to the test. Can I look past the little things that drive me crazy and still be kind, patient, loving and receptive to her love? I’m working on it

From that perspective, it’s by being totally honest with ourselves about what we don’t like that the real spiritual work can happen. When we pretend to be saints who like everything and everyone, we cut ourselves off from the real opportunity to exercise our spiritual muscles. We have to start from where we are and that means being able to authentically own our human nature, which includes our dislikes.

And while we don’t really get to choose who our parents or siblings are, we do have a choice when it comes to who we’re friends with, who we work with, etc. Where those relationships are concerned, there is a freedom that comes with the willingness to own and acknowledge what we like and don’t like. We don’t have to be best friends with everyone and sometimes the most loving action we can take, both for ourselves and others, is to create space between ourselves and those with whom we just don’t vibe. That doesn’t make us bad people, or spiritually inferior. In fact, discernment is a measure of wisdom and sometimes the wise choice is to say no and set healthy boundaries.

Once again, there is a loving way to do this. We can be kind in declining an invitation. We can be gracious in the exchanges we do have with those who are like oil to our water. We can be grateful to those who may not be in total harmony with us for helping us to be clear about what we truly want. We can remain silent when the opportunity to gossip or speak badly about an ex or pain in the butt co-worker or friend arises.

So your mission for this week, if you choose to accept it, is to give yourself permission to admit what you don’t like and then to act from a place of love. See if you can use your dislikes as a cue pointing you in the direction of growth. Be honest with yourself about what triggers you and see if you can be more loving and discerning in those moments and with those people that challenge you most.

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Dec. 2nd, 2012)

There are certain words in the languages we use that when used inappropriately, create a disconnect from what is real and what is true. An example would be the use of an adjective like “sour”, typically used to describe the way something tastes, to describe an object like a chair. There are exceptions where slang comes into play but in most cases, anyone would raise an eyebrow at the expression “sour chair”. The same applies to pairings like “orange breeze”, “eloquent hairdo” and “hilarious disease”.

At this point, you’re probably wondering what the F this strange grammar lesson has anything to do with the Extreme classic (it doesn’t), not to mention personal growth and why it’s being published by The Daily Love. Patience grasshopper, we’re getting there.

There is a special cluster of words in the English language intended for the description of THINGS such as ‘enough’, ‘perfect’, ‘worthy’, ’beautiful’ and so on, that can fail epically when we use them to describe human BEINGS. These words speak of measurements and refer to some abstract, highly subjective standard of what is enough, what is perfect, what is worthy and what is beautiful. And yet time and time again, we strive to be “enough”, to be “perfect”, to be “worthy”, to be “beautiful” with no true experiential reference for what any of those words really mean and if they can even apply to who we are and what makes us special.

The disconnect lies in the fact that we are not merely physical objects or things. We are so much more than that. Yes, we inhabit these physical bodies and we exist on the physical plane, but at our core, our true essence and nature is spiritual. In the same way that the unusual pairings above don’t make sense and don’t reflect the true qualities of the objects being described, when we apply these words and the measurements they imply to ourselves, they just don’t fit.

We’re also each an original, one-of- a-kind creation and the idea that any word or definition could ever capture the highest and best (those words are trouble, too) state of our potential is INSANE!

We are infinite, divine, spiritual beings and our true nature is immeasurable, unquantifiable and unlimited. Now those are some words that are a better fit for who we really are! So free yourself of these words and standards that will never truly capture even a fraction of who you are or what you’re capable of. Remember that these words were never meant to be used to describe (or limit) you because you’re one of a kind, your potential is boundless and no word or measurement will ever do you any justice.

If you’re a word nerd like me, and you just can’t help getting sucked into the naming game and the need to use words to define yourself, choose wisely and pick ones that make you feel good, that inspire and empower you, that lift you up and give you the fire to light up your life and those around you. Know what I mean, unstoppable jelly bean?

And just in case you didn’t hear a word I’ve said, believe me when I tell you that you are enough, you are perfect, you are worthy and you are beautiful just the way you are!

Much love,
Chris

Written for <a href=”http://thedailylove.com/more-than-words/” target=”_blank”>The Daily Love (Nov. 25th, 2012)</a>

Hello from New York my dear reader. It’s been quite an eventful week here in this always vibrant and resilient city. As of Sunday evening, anticipation of the imminent arrival of Hurricane Sandy swept through town and kept New Yorkers and all those passing through hidden away to take shelter.

In the days leading up to the storm, I cycled through phases of denial, great faith and great angst about what was to come. I was staying at an AirBnb apartment in the East Village and I discovered upon arrival that there would be another couple staying in the adjacent room and sharing the space with me. This triggered my worst-case scenario thinking. What if we don’t get along? What if we end up locked up in this small space for days because of the storm? What if Sandy hits the East Village hardest? What if all the hype about the hurricane is true and we’re in real danger?

Fast forward to today. It’s now Thursday and the worst of Hurricane Sandy has come and gone, but not without leaving its mark.

Before I continue with my account of the events of the past few days, I want to take a moment to acknowledge those whose lives have been greatly affected by the devastation caused by Sandy, those whose homes have been ravaged, those who have lost loved ones and those who are no longer with us. Let us all send them our love, keep them in our hearts and prayers and do what we can to support them in moving forward.

So here I am, I survived the storm and I can honestly say that it has both humbled me and reminded me of the true meaning of faith.

On Sunday evening, when I returned to my accommodations just prior to the onset of the downpour and torrential winds, I was warmly greeted by a sweet and lovely couple. The guy, a young Egyptian (like me) graphic designer, instantly reminded me of a dear friend creating the feeling that I’d known him for a lifetime. When his girlfriend, who I’d later discover was a budding filmmaker introduced herself and I heard her Aussie accent (AUS is my home away from home), my fears about my new roomies melted away. We clicked right away. We enjoyed each others company during the height of the storm, we shared supplies and best of all, we laughed and chatted in depth about life, creativity and the spiritual path. I couldn’t have chosen a more fitting pair of people to share the experience with and I felt so blessed to have their company.

After initially being so worried and fearful about the severity of the situation and petty logistical concerns, my attitude shifted from one of fear to deep faith. Amidst all of the chaos, with the lights in my room flickering just prior to the blackout, the rain tapping fiercely on my window and the wind threatening to break down our walls, I felt a sense of deep calm. I knew that I was being taken care of and supported beyond my own imaginings.

Above all, I saw very clearly that it’s during the most difficult of times that our faith is truly expressed. It’s when things don’t go as planned that the true spiritual practice begins. It’s relatively easy to claim to have faith in the Divine’s plan of goodness for our lives when all is well and good. What about when the storm of illness, loss, massive change, heartache, uncertainty and even natural disaster threatens our comfort, our plans and our sense of control? Can we still maintain a deep sense of peace and calm then? Does our faith remain or do we instead give into thoughts of fear and the worst possible outcomes?

Where in your life can you choose faith over fear?

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Nov. 14th, 2012)

Hey YOU!

Guess what? You’re an artist. Yes, I’m talking to you. I’ll say it again. YOU are an artist. Did you know that? Somewhere deep down inside you, there’s a part of you that recognizes what I just said as truth. Yup, I’m betting there was a flicker at least, but then there’s also that familiar wet blanket voice that says, “No, not me. Creativity and art are for them. The talented ones. The special ones. Not me. I can appreciate art, I’m just not meant to make it.”

Wanna know how I know? Cause I’m an artist too and for a good part of my life, I completely shut that part of myself down and denied my creative instincts. In fact, I can tell you exactly how and when it happened. Now I’m all about taking responsibility for our own lives, including our thoughts, beliefs and actions. BUT that doesn’t mean that other people we encounter along the way don’t have an impact on us and play a part in shaping who we are. The truth is that who we are results from the combination of our experiences and how we choose to process them.

When I was a kid, I used to love drawing and coloring. Aside from moonlighting as an actor in the department of trying to manipulate my parents to give me everything I wanted (yeah, I was a little rascal), my initial creative pull was towards visual art. I remember getting my first how-to book on drawing caricatures. I was in love. I can still feel the excitement I had at the thought of being able to reproduce the funny faces in the book and to eventually create my own. And coloring was my jam, too. I had all the bad-ass instruments a kid could get. Crayola, those markers that smell good, a coloring pencil set that folded open and propped itself up. You know what I’m talkin’ about.

This passion for visual art continued up until the beginning of high school when Capital-A Art class became a little more serious. And that’s when she showed up. My Grade 9 art teacher, Mrs. MeanCreativeBuzzKillWoman. One semester in her class and my creative innocence was tainted and taken from me, and my aspirations to make great art were completely shattered (I know, I’m being dramatic). So what happened? Well, in giving me her feedback on one of our big projects that involved shading, a technique I found challenging at first, Mrs. M. dropped an anti-creative bomb and told me I didn’t have the skills to be an “Artist” and that I should pursue some other form of creative expression (insert sad, dejected face here) or stick to sports.

And that’s exactly what I did. The budding Picasso within me was bruised, so the next year I took drama instead and focused most of my energy on the basketball team. All that creative juice didn’t go to waste because I went on to play the lead in my high school’s theater production of “Our Town” and became the captain of my high school bball team. Thank you Mrs. M.! But really, not thank you. That experience left a creative scar. I remember walking by the art studio on my way to drama and seeing the canvases coming to life, smelling the paint and thinking I would love to try that, too.  But then I’d remember what Mrs M. had said and believing her, I would think: “That’s not for me. It’s for them. I’m better at drama. And I’m more of an athlete than an artist anyways.” And it wouldn’t be until many, many years later that I dared approach a canvas or hold a paintbrush.

The fact is that this kind of thing happens all the time. It’s pervasive. We live in a world that often neglects and fails to nurture the artist in each of us.  Yes, I truly believe that we are all artists. And it starts with us believing it and remembering it, even when someone else tells us otherwise. And even more so, not getting so caught up in what people say or think, and giving them power over our ability to use our creative gifts.

We’ve ALL had creative experiences that were less than affirming. Maybe it was a grade school teacher or a friend telling you not to bother with your artistic endeavor of choice. Or maybe you began exploring a form of self-expression later in life and someone told you to stick to your day job. Or maybe you were laughed at and made fun of the first time you danced or sang in public, and you decided to put your moves away and silence your voice ever since. That almost happened to me, too, but I learned my lesson with Mrs. M and this time, I chose to keep going and discovered a passion for music that will burn within me until the day I die.

The point is that it’s up to us claim our right to be creative, to listen to the voice of the artist within and to let it be fully self-expressed. It’s up to us to protect that part ourselves against all threats, naysayers and creative buzzkills ™. That includes well-meaning but insensitive friends and family who offer unsolicited feedback and so-called constructive criticism. But most of all, it’s up to you. YOU have to believe that you’re an artist. You have to give yourself permission to create, to play, to express. And that means allowing yourself to be a beginner at something, to crawl before you walk, to do something just for the fun of it without needing to be world class. It means not comparing yourself to anyone else and just doing what you love to do for the simple joy and pleasure that it brings you. Like a child would.

So think back to when you were a kid, or to that moment when you decided or let someone else decide for you that creativity and art were not for you. Are you ready to make a new choice? Are you willing to bring that part of you back to life and reclaim your creativity fully?

Just do it. It will feel good, I promise.

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Nov. 11th, 2012)

Let’s face it, rejection hurts. Missing out on an opportunity is disappointing. Not getting what we want in life sucks. Coming face to face with our lack of control over our circumstances is confronting. We’ve all been there, and it’s in those moments when relationships, work and life circumstances don’t go as planned or hoped that we have a golden opportunity to grow and claim our power.

So many of us hear the word “No” and we fall deep into the pits of despair. It’s natural to take rejection personally, whether it’s in matters of the heart or in the pursuit of our dreams. And yet this is so often what keeps us from reaching our intended destination. Rather than dusting ourselves off and keeping on keeping on, we tend to get stuck in the rejection, going into all sorts of disempowering interpretations of what it means about us.

I used to be a professional at this. Since I left the certain path of a career in law to partake of the circus that is the music business, I’ve had plenty of people tell me that I didn’t have what they were looking for. I’ve gotten excited about possible opportunities many times, sure that it was going to be my moment, that my break had come, only to find out that I didn’t get the gig or make the cut. There was a time when every instance of this was like a massive death blow to my spirit and my belief in what I was doing. Doubts would surface with a vengeance, my deepest insecurities would roar and I would seriously question if I was really meant to do what I was doing, despite a deeper knowing in my heart and soul that I was right on course.

After a good while of this self-inflicted torture, I came to a breaking point. It was clear that I had to choose between going down a different path to avoid the uncertainty and emotional volatility that came with it, or that I would have to approach things with a radically different mindset.

Despite all the ups and downs and the many challenges along the way, I was clear that I wasn’t ready to give up on my dreams. So instead, I made a decision that I was going to do what I love to do for the love of it and let the rest take care of itself. I resolved to love myself enough to not question my worth at every bump in the road. And I reminded myself that every great success has been preceded by many so-called failures, that it is the journey that matters most – not the destination, and that so many have given up right as they approached the doorstep to the kingdom they had been seeking along. Rather than using all these challenges as evidence of my unworthiness or that my dreams weren’t going to pan out, I would choose to see that I was being shaped and molded so that I could truly be ready when my time came.

It sounds simple but that doesn’t mean it’s been easy. And the truth is, if it was so easy, we’d probably get bored and move on. Not only that, but the really juicy stuff of life – the amazing relationship, the purpose-filled career, the creative mastery that we dream of and aspire to – have to be earned. And the way that we earn it is by using the rejections, failures and challenges along the way as stepping stones, rather than allowing them to become stumbling blocks. We earn it by being so resolute in our willingness to keep going and so committed to our vision and our goals that we stop at nothing to realize them. We may go through ten “wrong relationships” before we find the one that lasts a lifetime. We may hear a hundred “No’s” before we finally hear the “YES” that changes everything. The important thing is to remember that it’s all part of the growing process and that each experience is an indispensable piece of the final puzzle.

A huge part of this is in how we choose to look at the rejections, the failures, the break-ups, the setbacks and the missed opportunities. In those moments when it seems like our will is being thwarted, it’s crucial that we root ourselves deeply in our faith, that we affirm our own worth and that we remind ourselves that there is a Divine plan of goodness for each of us and that at all times and in all circumstances, we are accounted for. And that includes our dreams and our highest good. In fact, especially where those are concerned.

So where in your life can you choose to give a new meaning to rejection, failure or a setback and turn it into a stepping stone? Where can you see the Grace and Divine plan at work in your life and on your Path?

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Oct 21st, 2012)

I’m writing this blog from Venice, CA as I look out of the window of my new home (for the next little while at least) at the beautiful ocean and amazing beachfront. Despite the incredible view and the proximity to the beach, which is like instant food for my soul, I’ve been feeling somewhat unsettled since I got here a few days ago.

The reason I’m here is because ever since I visited for the first time a little over a year ago, the calling to be here has grown louder and louder. With every visit, more doors have opened, and it quickly became crystal clear that the path to the fulfillment of my dreams was leading me here.

Making the choice to leave my home, my family, my friends, my community and all the comforts and familiarity of the life I have grown so accustomed to in Toronto was not an easy one, and I took my time making it. After several trips to feel it out and explore, my growing excitement around the possibilities and opportunities here in Los Angeles gave me the courage I needed to take the leap (even though it took me a good while to muster it up). I also can’t understate the impact of the amazing community of people here – who have opened their arms and lovingly welcomed me – on my decision to be here.

And yet, despite all of that, despite my solid inner knowing that this is where I’m supposed to be, despite the many friends and exciting opportunities that await, during my first few days here I was confronted by a familiar but no so kind voice in my head that said, ”You don’t belong here.”

Like many, my first experiences of not belonging came during my childhood and adolescence when I was left out by groups I wanted to be a part of, or singled out and made fun of by friends for being different. And so the unconscious belief that “I’m not enough” was formed and the story that “I don’t belong” was born. As anyone who has traveled the path of personal growth knows, being aware of a limiting belief or story creates a choice and the opportunity to replace it with a more empowering one, but it doesn’t prevent the belief from creeping back in every now and again. In fact, creating a new belief and story is a choice that we must make over and over again, and it’s often before a major breakthrough that we experience our demons rearing their ugly heads with intensity and ferocity.

So here I am…again. And I’ve been here enough times to know that I have a choice. I also know myself well enough to know that a big part of what I’m feeling is a natural effect of the big change of the move, and it’s up to me to give it a meaning that empowers me or to identify with the old familiar.

With all that in mind, I’ve been giving myself space to feel what I’m feeling without trying to fix it. In that space, in the willingness to just be with it and explore the feeling, the beliefs at play and the story that’s being triggered, I had a beautiful insight this morning during my meditation (the fact that I was on the beach might have helped).

With the sun shining on my face, my toes in the sand and the sound of the waves crashing in the distance, I settled into my meditation and for the first time since I arrived, I felt myself completely letting go and accepting where I was. As I dropped in deeper, I felt the release of some of the tension I’ve been carrying, and I realized that my feelings of unease were a direct reflection of my resistance to being here, in this new city, in the face of so much uncertainty.

By completely accepting where I was in that moment, I was finally able to be fully present to the awe-inspiring natural beauty of my surroundings and tune in to their calming and peaceful effect.

That’s when I was struck by the realization that the feelings I was having of not belonging were directly related to my lack of acceptance of myself. Let me say that one more time: any feelings we have of not belonging are a direct reflection of our inability to accept ourselves.

And so, in that moment, the answer to my prayer for peace came shining through in a calming whisper that touched me right at my core and said, “You belong to you.”

So today I will practice radical self-acceptance. I will love myself and accept myself right where I am, just as I am. I will embrace my imperfections and own all the things make me different, knowing that I am the one and only me.

And guess what? You are the one and only you, too. You belong to you. How can you love yourself more deeply today? How can you accept yourself more fully? How can you own your imperfections and embrace your uniqueness?

Much love

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Oct 14th, 2012)

In today’s world, and especially in Western Society, we place a great deal of value on the idea of “success” and being “successful” in whatever we choose to do in our lives. The desire to be successful is the driving force behind a great deal of what we do and for most of us, it dictates the course we choose for our entire lives and also how we live from day to day.

Definitions of what success looks like and what it means to be successful are completely subjective and vary from one field to the next, from one community to the next and even from one individual to the next. Each of us can define for ourselves what success really looks like and yet many of us have unconsciously inherited someone else’s definition of what it is and as a result, we end up living in pursuit of some illusory unattainable goal or a life that we don’t really want.

In my family, and even in my larger ethnic community, a successful career is defined as one with a solid job in one of the professions such as being a doctor, dentist or lawyer and a successful life means getting married, buying a house and having kids by the time your thirty. When I was in my mid-twenties, I was well on my way to living out this life. I was about to graduate from law school with a coveted job lined up at a big corporate law firm and I was in a relationship with my first real love and I was sure that we were going to get married and go the distance, much to my family’s delight.

At the same time, my somewhat newly discovered passion for music was growing stronger every day and there was this undeniable voice within me that kept telling me that I was destined for something more. Not that there was anything wrong with a legal career or the path I was traveling, but deep down inside, I knew I wasn’t going to be fulfilled by that work and if I denied the creative yearning that was growing stronger and stronger.

Coming face to face with this truth and acting on it was one of the most difficult choices I’ve ever had to make. It required me to question everything I knew and was taught to believe about how I was supposed to live my life. It required me to have some extremely challenging conversations with my parents explaining why I couldn’t keep going on the path that we had “agreed” I was going to take with my life. In the midst of all the soul-searching and changing direction, the relationship I was so certain about ended, leaving me with no semblance of the life I was on course towards establishing and with no choice but to take one massive leap of faith.

And that’s what I did…I kindly declined the big job offer. I held my ground with my family and my community and I went for it! I’ve been actively engaged in the practice of my crafts and in the business of music ever since. More recently, I’ve also been working with TDL, providing one-on-one mentoring to our amazing clients to empower them to live the life of their dreams – an opportunity that only came as a result of me creating space in my life by letting go of what I knew I didn’t want. Since that first leap about five years ago, it’s been one crazy rollercoaster ride, but I haven’t experienced one ounce of regret because I know in my heart that I’m on the path that I was born to walk. I’m living a life that’s in alignment with my purpose of spreading peace, love and inspiration by expressing my creativity and I’m doing what lights me up with the intent to serve and make a difference. And that feels good!

There are still those occasional tough conversations with my family and with others who don’t always quite “get it” and who can’t wrap their heads around the choices I’ve made. What I’ve learned is to be so solid in my resolve and so confident in the rightness of my choices for me that I don’t get rattled by those conversations and the opinions of others.

I’ve also learned to separate my desire to be loved and belong with the need to get approval or follow the herd. In other words, you don’t have to be like them to be one of them. And you don’t have to live for their definition of success to get their love. And if you do, that’s not real love anyways, so you might as well do what’s going to make you happy.

The more we can let go of the need for anyone else’s approval in how we live our lives, the more freedom we have to really go for the life we dream of. The more we realize that we don’t need anyone’s permission but our own, the more empowered we will be in CHOOSING the path that our soul is leading us towards and the more fully we can embrace the life we desire and our own definition of success.

For me, being successful means being fulfilled in what I do, it means being fully expressed creatively, and it means loving and accepting myself enough that I can be a source of love and inspiration to others.

What about you? What’s your definition of success? Perhaps you’ve been living for someone else’s approval or according to their version of what your life should be. Are you willing to step up and step out onto the path that you really want to walk? Are you ready to define your own success?

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Oct 7th, 2012)

Telling the truth isn’t always easy, but I believe that it’s the foundation of meaningful connection, closeness in relationships and genuine fulfillment in so many areas of our lives. Somewhere along the way, many of us have learned to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves out of fear that people will not love us if we tell them what’s really going on. While this approach may have served us in certain situations or up until a certain point, as we go deeper into our own spiritual journey and as we strive for a reality that reflects our highest potential, it’s ultimately the truth that will set us free.

Before I go any further, I should clarify that the word “truth” is subjective and in this context, I am referring to your truth. In order to speak your truth and share it with another, it’s first important that you’re able to be honest with yourself. Whether it’s an upset, a crush, an idea or an apology that needs to be expressed, the first step along the path to authentic communication is identifying what’s true for YOU. This part of the process is crucial and can often be challenging for a number of reasons. The truth can be scary sometimes because it can reveal to us that we need to take action in a direction that’s uncertain, such as walking away from a relationship that isn’t fulfilling or a job that’s not in alignment with our purpose. The same applies to expressing our true feelings for another and giving voice to our creative yearnings, both of which require us to put ourselves out there, to be open and vulnerable. Similarly, when we are communicating something that is not inherently positive, such as a disappointment or a point of contention with a friend, colleague or loved one, there are a few challenges that arise as well.

The first, especially for those of us on the Path who believe in taking responsibility for our perceptions, is to objectively determine if our grievance is well founded and see where it ‘s really coming from. Perhaps there’s an opportunity for us to own up to our part in a conflict, to put our egos aside and swallow some pride. We all know how difficult that can be! On the other hand, we may feel genuinely hurt by something or we may want to establish a boundary or standard in a particular relationship without necessarily blaming the other person and putting them on the defensive. In either case, being open and honest is the key to maintaining a clear space in our relationships and the way to do this is by being authentic in our communication and expressing from a place of love and a desire for harmony.

One of my favorite metaphors on this subject is the idea of the “elephant in the room” which represents the obvious truth that is not being addressed among a pair or group of individuals. I always picture two people wanting to be close and intimate being separated by a giant elephant! Whether it’s obvious or not, there is no question that the unspoken truths that we carry around and bury deep down live in the space between us. There is a distinct energy that comes from repressed upsets and emotions, as well as unexpressed love and creativity that creates a wall between us and others.

Beyond this, what we do not authentically explore within ourselves can have a negative impact on our own state of balance and our health. Harboring unacknowledged frustration, anger and resentment and not dealing with them appropriately can be toxic to our bodies and can be the beginnings of disease. I’m not suggesting that we go around unleashing the fury and breathing fire on other people. That said, it ‘s important to give ourselves space to vent and give voice to our darker emotions in healthy ways, such as journaling or communicating with someone who can hear us out but who is not involved in the situation.

As cliché as it may sound, I also can’t help but point out that life is short and tomorrow is never guaranteed. We may have the chance to express something today, but we never know if we’re going to get a next time. So let us not pass up the chance RIGHT NOW to make things right with those we love, to be honest with the people in our lives, to say “I love you”, to sing our song, to tell our story, to share our ideas and to speak our TRUTH!

Let’s be honest with each other. Is there something that you’ve been keeping to yourself that you know you need to express but don’t know how? Or better yet, is there something within you that you’re dying to express but haven’t because you’re afraid of how it will be received?

If you feel up to it, leave a comment below and let us support each other in opening up and expressing our truth.

Thanks for reading!

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Sept 30th, 2012)

Dear Friend,

How are you? What’s been happening in your life since I last wrote? My life has been full of ups and downs in the past few weeks and I’m writing to share what I’ve learned with you.

Life has an ebb and flow to it. We are not always going to be able to live in a state of extreme joy, bliss and happiness. There are gray days, there are challenges, and there are slips and stumbles along the Path.

Knowing and accepting this is the beginning of wisdom. When we are wise, we know to look for the lesson in the difficult times. When we have wisdom, we know to stay the course on the dark days when we are feeling down and discouraged because like the sun, our hope and faith will rise again. When we are truly wise, we know that love is free and unlimited. When we give it unconditionally, we receive it in even greater measure though it will not always come from those to whom we give it.

My friend, life is not always easy, but it is simple if we wish it to be. It is simple to the extent that we always have a choice. We have a choice between love and fear, between peace and conflict, between faith and doubt. We have a choice when it comes to who we will be in this world. Choose who you want to be and allow this choice to be the foundation of all other choices you make, regardless of what life presents you and what others may say or think. You belong to you and your life is yours to live and to co-create with The Uni-verse.

As life and the Divine plan for each of us unfolds, we can either be HERE now and give our full attention and presence to the gift of this moment, to the conversation at hand, to the breath we are breathing, to the moon and the stars in tonight’s dark blue sky. Or we can let our thoughts take us back to that day back then or that someday when. We can allow ourselves to be carried away and miss the very space in which all of our dreams and experiences are set to unfold. Yes, right here in the NOW is where it all takes place. This moment HERE and NOW is so precious and at the same time, it is passing and will quickly give way to a new one which carries a new promise and possibility.

And for this reason, we must never hold on too tight. To life, to love, to creativity, to time, to riches, material or spiritual. Whatever we have, let us use it up and give it away in the faith that we will always be provided for and that there is no shortage in the supply of all these blessings. Whatever life brings, let us savor it and experience it fully in the knowledge that it is not meant to last forever because though we are here in this world, we are not of it. Yes, we are eternal spiritual beings and we are here on earth for a common purpose: to awaken to our Divine nature, to give, to love, to heal, to learn, to grow, to play, to create, to feel, to share, to serve – together and for the greater good of one another.

These are the lessons I’ve been learning of late and I am glad to be able to share them with you my friend. May this day be your best yet and may we all choose powerfully to be ourselves. May we live fully in this moment and may we always choose peace, faith and love.

Much love,
Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Sept. 23rd, 2012)

Change can be scary. One thing that all of us living creatures have in common is that, at some point, our time here on earth will come to an end. There is no question that dying is the greatest change of all and the one that we fear most. This undeniable truth resides within us and is often at the root of what we do, what we say, how we act and react to life, people and situations.

Though we are often not aware of it, this knowledge we have deep within us of the temporality of life colors our perceptions and shapes our experiences in a big way. One of the major manifestations of this tendency is in our desire and need to be in control of the circumstances of our life. When we feel as though we are in control, we get lulled into a sense of security and we forget for a moment that the world of forms, including our physical bodies, is impermanent. It is this desire for control and permanence that causes us to hold on too tight when life starts flowing, to stick to what is familiar, to need to be right and to play it safe. Similarly, this disposition shows up in our tendency to resist change, to be closed-minded and to contract in fear in the face of the unknown.

Broken down to the simplest of terms: at any given moment, we are either looking at life’s experiences through the lens of our fear of dying (“OMG…I’m gonna die!”) or through the lens of our love of life (“Thank You God…I’m ALIVE!). This can apply to something as small as a conversation in which a person shares a viewpoint that is contrary to what we believe, or something as significant as the decision to take a big risk on behalf of our dreams. In both cases, we are presented with something unfamiliar, be it an opinion or an opportunity, which challenges our desire to be in control. It is in this moment that we have the power to choose how we will respond. The foreign perspective or experience can be perceived as the ultimate threat a.k.a. death and can cause us to shut down, retreat in fear or even worse, fight for our life. Or we can remain open and explore it with a sense of curiosity, wonder and a sense of awe for life.

Whether we realize or not, we are making this subtle but significant choice constantly. Some days we wake up and we feel vibrant, inspired, excited and open to what the day will bring. We are truly LIVING life! Other days, we barely manage to get ourselves up out of bed; we mope around dragging our feet and with our heads hanging. On these days, it is as though we are dying. Deep down, underneath the surface, it is our focus on our existence as the experience of LIVING or DYING that creates our resulting state of being.

What I’m learning is that it is by fully acknowledging and accepting the impermanence of life, that we can overcome our fear of death and all of its trappings. Yes, we will die one day. Every single one of us. But guess what? We are ALIVE right now and so rather than live in fear of the end, we can choose to live life fully and celebrate the moment that we have right here, right NOW. When we live from this place, our perception of the unknown – new experiences, perspectives and opportunities – is transformed and we find ourselves in the flow of life, going with the current and enjoying the ride.

This does not mean that we will never experience fear, as it is part of our make-up and can sometimes serve to protect us from real danger. In instances where the danger is imminent, such as a fire or a car coming towards us, we will respond instantly and from a much deeper instinctual place. When the fear is more perceived than real, we can simply notice it and be with it until it is subsides. Only then can we make objective choices about how to proceed in the areas of relationships, careers and creative endeavors, rather than reacting from a place of feeling as though our life is on the line. This is the beginning of what it means to access our divinity and to live as though we are eternal.

We have to face our fear of death to be able to truly live. Until we do, we will never truly experience freedom and inner peace. Until we do, we will always stick to what we know, sit on the fence and miss out on real opportunities for growth and expansion, for the magic of life to unfold.

When you really take a close look, are you coming from a place of fear and focusing on death, scarcity and limitation, OR coming from a place of love and focusing on life, abundance and possibility?

The choice is yours and the quality of your life depends on it.

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Sept. 18th, 2012)

Can I tell you a story? It’s a fun one, I promise!

Last weekend, a dear friend of mine invited me to a music festival an hour outside of Toronto. She was going to be there with a group of friends I hadn’t met and I planned to join them mid-day. I arrived and was instantly delighted with the familiar sights and sounds of people gathering in the name of music and love. The only challenge was that cell phones were of no avail and I had to locate my friend amongst thousands of people without a clue as to where she might be. I began looking around and after about twenty minutes of unfruitful searching, I could feel myself tensing up a little and running stories in my head that were not helping the cause.

Then I had an insight: “Stop looking and you will find them.” This struck me as an interesting and definitely counter-intuitive approach but since plan A wasn’t working, I decided to give it a shot. At that point, I was getting hungry so I decided to go for some food while I evaluated my options. I scoped a few concessions taking note of the homemade ice cream stand, which I knew I would be back to later, and got myself a wrap so I could walk and eat. A few bites in and a several paces later, I stopped to throw something out, I looked up and there was my friend standing right in front of me. We greeted each other, she introduced me to everyone and then she said: ”Hey! We were just going to get an ice cream, want one?”

As soon as I surrendered the “search” and decided to just go with the flow of the festival and be in the moment, I was guided right to the very place I wanted to be – yes, the ice cream! And my friend, too! Some would say that this was a coincidence and that life is just a collection of random, disconnected happenings and unfoldings.

Not me.

I believe that we are all connected and that there is a Divine plan of goodness for each and every one of us. I believe in synchronicity and in the unseen forces that come to our aid when we move out into action on behalf of our higher calling. And I believe in the power of believing and of having faith in a vision that is bigger than we are.

When we view life with the eyes of faith, when we connect to the greater forces that are at play in and around us, when we attune our senses to the Divine’s communications, life can be magical. There are so many manifestations of this daily in matters big and small and it’s often only a question of whether are not we are really looking and listening, Have you ever been in an emotional state, high or low, when the perfect song comes on and lets you know you are exactly where you are supposed to be? Have you ever looked up in a moment of deep contemplation and seen a billboard or ad with words that seemed to be the exact answer you were looking for? You could call these coincidences, too, but I would rather choose to view them as a little help from the Great Artist who created us and this incredible masterpiece of a Uni-verse.

What I’m learning is that when we choose to look with the eyes of faith and tune in to the voice of the Divine, what we seek will find us. What our souls desire will come to us with grace and ease. What once seemed impossible becomes a piece of cake.

And perhaps you are reading this blog thinking it was just the message you needed to hear today (if not, thanks for reading ‘til here anyways). Coincidence? You tell me.

Much love,
Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Sept. 9th, 2012)

Let us go on a journey together.

Imagine you are walking the earth and you discover the greatest treasure in all of life. This treasure is unlike anything else you’ve ever experienced. Though you’ve come across many of the other gifts of life, this one is somehow different and seems to encompass them all. In this moment of discovering it, your experience is one of pure bliss, of wholeness, of deep connection to something greater than yourself and of being at home.

The next moment, you awaken from a deep slumber only to realize that it was all just a dream, although the feeling is still very present within you. With a heavy heart, you get up and return to life as you know it, but the memory of the experience of your dream stays with you. As the days pass, the longing to experience that feeling again, to taste of that bliss once again and to feel that sense of being at home permeate your every action and encounter. Though you are not completely aware of it, you are in a state of perpetual searching for the treasure you once had in your dream. No matter what you do, no person, place or experience seem to be able to relieve that pang in your heart, that deep yearning within you, that subtle sense of unease and incompleteness.

What if I was to tell you that this is a story about the human experience and it’s one that we all share in common? What if I was also to tell you that the incomparable, bliss-inducing, fulfilling treasure is very real and that its source lies within you?

Yes, the treasure I am speaking of is LOVE and within your heart there is a well from which this love springs forth freely and abundantly.

This, my friends is the truth about love. It lives in our hearts and we have an endless supply of it. It is ours to experience and give unconditionally, now and at all times. And yet so often, we roam the earth and spend our lives in search of it as if we are in a state of lack. We go out into the world seeking as though we need the love of others to fill us up, in order to feel good, to feel worthy, to feel at peace and to feel the joy of being alive. When these attempts fail, we seek to fill ourselves up with everything from money and power to sex and drugs, to food and facebook friends. We consume, we accumulate, we achieve, we compete and work to prove ourselves, all in the name of being worthy of love and recapturing that feeling, but nothing works. Not only that, but whatever love we believe we have is given only when we can expect to receive it in return. We withhold for reasons big and small, bestowing only on those we deem worthy.

All the while, the fountain of love within our hearts remains abundant and limitless. All along, we have held the key to unlock the treasure of love and experience the fulfillment that it promises. In order to truly experience its bountiful nature, we must give it freely with no expectation of anything in return. Yes, it is so. Love does not keep score nor does it withhold. Love flows with ease, love gives freely, love cares deeply, love shares openly, love forgives repeatedly, love allows willingly, love nurtures warmly, love expresses fully.

You have the treasure of love in your heart. Let it flow through you and to you. Give it freely and unconditionally and you will experience the fullness of its bliss, you will know its power and you will feel a deep sense of peace within.

You are home.

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Sept. 2nd, 2012)

This morning I woke up with a little ache in my heart. I wanted to go back to sleep, pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day. I rolled over onto my stomach and let out a big breath and sigh, “Ughhhhhhhh.” Then the most interesting thing happened: I felt the steady, strong, healthy beat of my heart against the mattress, and I was struck by the realization, “Your heart’s not broken, it’s working perfectly!”

And this truth resonated with me deeply. Not only is my heart beating, the ache I feel is there to teach me something. Where did it come from? Well, after years of being completely independent, self-fulfilling and admittedly emotionally unavailable, I tasted the fruit of romantic connection and intimacy, and I allowed myself to become too consumed by it. For a moment, I was looking to find fulfillment in the eyes of another, only to be quickly reminded that this is not a sustainable path. Still, it is an easy thing for us to do, especially when we feel a deep connection, when we open our hearts and experience the joy of sharing ourselves and our love with another. But this is a fundamental error that we all make time and time again, in our lives and in our relationships: to mistake something outside ourselves as the source of our fulfillment and our wholeness.

When we buy into the illusion that someone else can complete us, make us feel good about ourselves and fill us up with their love, we give our power away and we deepen the insatiable longing within us. This is the longing that gives rise to many addictive and unhealthy relationships and lifestyle choices. The true yearning that lies at the root of these tendencies is to know, connect with and love ourselves fully and to experience a state of true oneness with The Uni-verse.

Once we establish this connection, this direct line, then we can experience true fulfillment and we can engage meaningfully in the sacred space of relationship without abusing or misusing the love of another. Of course, self-love and connection to The Uni-verse are not states that we arrive at once and for all, leaving all efforts and practices that got us there behind us. What are such practices? Any means by which we can go within and explore our true nature as spiritual beings and experience our connection to something greater than ourselves. A good place to start would be yoga, meditation, visualization, affirmations and prayer.

Ultimately, it is a journey and a process, one that is endless and forever deepening, one that requires consistency, and one that will involve missteps, trials and tribulations. There will be falls from the state of bliss that comes with glimpses of enlightenment, which is to know that we are children of The Uni-verse, that we are loved and worthy of love, for no other reason than the fact that we have hearts and souls, and it is our birthright to love and be loved.

Our hearts are ours to cherish, to honor and to treat with reverence. We were born with these magnificent entities so that we could love, give, care, share, nurture, empathize and have compassion. Sometimes, we misuse our hearts and we try to fill them up with the love of others. Just like a hangover after a night of seemingly blissful intoxication, or a belly ache after gorging on sweets and treats, we can quickly be reminded that the high is often followed by a come down and that perhaps our choice to over-indulge did not ultimately serve us.

In the same way, when my heart aches, it is serving a most important function. It is reminding me to look within for the love that I am seeking outside myself, to heal myself and to remember that the source of my fulfillment lies deep within me. Not out there, but in here. In that moment, the choice is mine to feel the ache and learn the lesson that my heart is teaching me, or to run away from it, to distract myself, to numb it and to miss the opportunity for growth.

So many of us experience heartache or heartbreak and, instead of learning the lesson that our hearts are offering us, we vow to never love again, we cut off the feeling, we close ourselves off from connection, we shut the doors to our hearts, lock them up indefinitely and miss the point altogether. To shut down and stop feeling is not the solution and will not give way to the healing or fulfillment that we ultimately yearn for, and will not create the opportunity for meaningful connection and relationship.

I’ll say it again: what we are seeking first and foremost is a relationship with ourselves and with The Uni-verse, and until we establish this connection, all other attempts to be fulfilled will fall short of the mark. Once we discover and learn to nurture this connection, we can begin to exercise our power and ability to be the source of our own fulfillment. Only then can we experience the love of another as the reflection of our own love and wholeness.

Our hearts are our greatest guides in this process, always leading us to the ultimate destination of oneness and completeness. This is our heart’s true purpose and when we forget this, it will ache to remind us that we are its keeper, that we already have access to all that we desire to feel within us and that we are the love that we seek.

Your heart isn’t broken, it’s working perfectly. Are you willing to listen to what it’s telling you and to learn the lesson that its aches are teaching you?

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Aug. 18th, 2012)

Exactly one year ago today, I smoked my last cigarette after being a smoker for 13 years. I must have attempted to quit over a 100 times at no avail. I’d often throw out a pack after a day of heavy smoking when I felt at my worst, vowing that enough was enough, but it wouldn’t be long before I would give in to my addiction and start up again.

This cycle was torturous, mostly because I knew I was punishing my body and getting nothing in return, but even more so because my feeling of self-worth and confidence would erode further every time I made the decision to stop, only to go back within a few days or even a few weeks.

We are co-creators of this amazing life we get to live and one of the greatest sources of our power lies in our ability to keep our word. This ability to live by what we say and keep our promises is often referred to as integrity, not to be confused with the concept of moral uprightness that the word is typically used to describe as well. This is not about right or wrong; what we are talking about is owning ourselves and taking our power back. One of the ways in which we often lose our power and fall out of integrity is by breaking the promises we make to ourselves.

Many of us are so great at honoring our word when it comes to commitments we make to others, but when we make a promise to ourselves, the context changes and so do the rules by which we play the game. You know what I’m talking about. Whether it’s an attempt to quit smoking or drinking, to eat more healthy, to practice your craft consistently, to watch less tv, to give up sugar, to exercise more or to let go of that toxic relationship, we all know what it’s like to vow we’re going to do something and then to give in to temptation in a moment of weakness. Often times, we let ourselves off the hook easy because of the underlying belief that we’re not worth it, or we make excuses like “I’m stressed, I need a fix…I’ll just cheat this once ….It’s too late for me, I’ve already been doing things this way so might as well keep going…Nobody else will know but me.”

Here’s the thing: when we break our promises to ourselves, we give our power away, we lose confidence in ourselves and we are really only cheating ourselves of our true potential. One of my favorite questions from inspirational author Robin Sharma is, “How excellent are you when nobody’s watching?” This strikes at the heart of the matter because it’s not about being your best for anyone else or for the sake of looking good, it’s about being your best for YOU!

If you’re out of integrity, the solution is simple. Acknowledge what promise you have broken, be willing to take responsibility for it without making excuses, make a new promise or commitment and VOILA! You’ve restored your integrity. One thing to note is that you’re not always going to get it right the first time. Much like I did with my attempts to become smoke-free, there will be failures and missteps along the way to success and reaching your potential. The worst thing you can do in those instances is beat yourself up and dwell on the fact that you failed, which many of us do and then use as evidence that there’s no use in trying. Making yourself wrong in these instances will only waste your energy, keep you stuck for longer and completely undermines the value of a failed attempt in bringing you one step closer to success. Don’t go there! Just dust yourself off, rinse, repeat and try again. In other words, make the necessary adjustment that the failure taught you, acknowledge, take responsibility and re-commit.

So my friend, today is a new a new day and a perfect opportunity for you to restore your integrity and re-claim your power. Start with something small. Make yourself a reasonable promise and deliver on it. Notice how good it feels and how much confidence you gain from that simple but potent act of keeping your word. Gradually, as your confidence returns, you can build up to bigger things and before you know it, you will be UNSTOPPABLE!

What promise would you like to make to yourself today? If you feel moved, share with the rest of us by leaving a comment so we can enCOURAGE and inspire each other!

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love ( th, 2012)

Life can get really complicated in a hurry when we think and analyze too much. The human mind is a highly sophisticated entity capable of great feats but if left unchecked, it can take the pure and simple things in life and turn them upside down. Our minds are great tools and can serve us in numerous ways if we use them appropriately, but thinking is not meant to be our primary mode of navigating much of our worldly experience.

We are spiritual beings first and foremost and as such, our greatest guides are our intuition and our feelings. When it comes to love, creativity, self-expression, service, purpose, connection and the really juicy stuff in life, the keys to fulfillment and growth are to BE wholly present in our experiences and to FEEL our way through them, including and ESPECIALLY any challenges and obstacles that come our way. Yet so often, we lead with our thoughts, and this can often lead to confusion and unnecessary complexity. There’s thinking and then there’s OVER-thinking. There’s analyzing and then there’s OVER-analyzing.

That’s one of my personal favorites and anyone who knows me well will tell you that’s my specialty. Having access to the great potential of the human mind and all of its intellectual capabilities can, as with any other powerful force, tempt us into misusing it. And there ‘s no doubt that the human mind is great at solving problems. The important distinction is to know which problems are made for the mind and which ones aren’t.

Scheduling, determining the necessary support structure of a building, planning a flight route given the day’s weather conditions, projecting sales based on last month’s numbers, plumbing – these are clearly fodder for the brain’s analytical capabilities. Going after the job of our dreams, moving to a city that’s been calling us for years, open-heartedly entering into a relationship with someone we have a strong connection with, giving a completely uninhibited and audacious performance, these are spheres of life where we must lead with heart and soul and where thought must inevitably come second.

When we use thought and analysis inappropriately as our go-to filter for processing matters of the heart and soul, we lose out on the experience and we risk missing the point of what life is offering us. Sometimes the greatest challenge is to keep things simple when we believe there is more to lose. If you hear the call to move to Los Angeles, commit to making it happen and the rest will take care of itself. If you care deeply about that guy or girl even though it doesn’t make sense on paper, dive in headfirst and work out the details as you go. If you wanna sing, paint, dance, write….then toss aside whatever’s getting in your way and sing, paint, dance or write your little ass off!

Life is short my friends. We are here today but who knows if we’ll get to have a tomorrow. Don’t overthink it, don’t overanalyze it, get out of your head and into your heart and LIVE! Live fully, live courageously, live fearlessly and soak up every little juicy drop of experience while you can. You might fall flat on your face, you might get hurt, you might screw up, you might FAIL in a big way but so f’in what??!! That’s how you learn, that’s how you grow, that’s the whole point and why we’re here to begin with.

So lead with you heart, keep it simple and play BIG. The final outcome is not as important as the amazing journey you’ll have getting there.

Sound crazy to you? You’re probably over-thinking it ;P

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (Aug 4th, 2012)

“Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”

– Steven Pressfield (The War of Art)

It’s so easy to let ourselves be talked out of living our best lives. There’s a place in all of us where courage lives, where the faith that anything is possible dwells, where the belief that we are capable of greatness is unequivocal. I like to think of that part of myself as my inner superhero. Sadly though, the voice of the superhero in each of us is often drowned out by so much of the NOISE that we let in and give power to.

This noise includes the limiting beliefs of all the doubters in our lives, the discouraging words of all the haters who would prefer we maintain the status quo and play small, the doom and gloom news that focuses more on the problem than the solution. The biggest culprit of them all, however, is the voice of our own fears that often reigns the loudest in our minds and in our internal world. That voice says “I can’t do it…I don’t know how…I don’t deserve to be successful…I’m a failure… It’s too late for me… What if I lose everything?…What if they find out I’m a fraud?…I’d better play it safe and make sure I don’t mess things up… I can’t afford it…Things aren’t that bad…I don’t want to disappoint mom, dad, etc. “

At their core, these statements and fears all have one thing in common: they stem from the natural Resistance that we all face as we set out to embark on a path of growth, expansion, creativity, entrepreneurship, spirituality, mastery, love and intimacy. All of these endeavors are rooted in EXPERIENCE and they live in the realm of that which we have yet to explore, often referred to as the unknown.

So of course, in the face of foreign experiences and all the uncertainty that comes along with them, we tend to shrink back in fear, to rationalize our worries, to justify our doubts and ultimately, to talk ourselves out of so many great ideas and grand visions of what’s possible for us and for the world. We want to dance, but we’ve grown up being told that we don’t have rhythm. We want to sing, but we someone once told us we didn’t have a nice voice and we believed them. We want to love deeply but we don’t want to take the chance of getting hurt. We want to inspire the masses, but we are too afraid to let our own inspiration move us to action. The life and love we want, the change we wish to bring forth, the greatness we aspire to, all live outside of what’s familiar and comfortable to us but it takes courage to go there. Our task is to give our attention to the voice of the superhero within us that is ready and willing to lead us there and to take consistent action until we succeed and thrive.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: where would we be in the world today if all the great leaders, innovators, artists and inventors had allowed their work, their vision, their dream, their promise to be overshadowed by the voice of doubt or even the voice of so-called reason?

And so I ask you: what great idea, vision, desire or promise do you have deep down within you? Are you letting the noise around you and the voice of your fears talk you out of it? If so, are you willing to listen instead to the voice of your inner superhero and go wherever it leads you?

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (July 28th, 2012)

Imagine getting on a rollercoaster that you were told was going to take you on the ride of your life. As you get buckled in, the excitement mounts. The adrenaline starts rushing through you as you hear the safety instructions being announced over the loud speaker. The person sitting next to you grabs onto your arm in anticipation and nervousness. Next you thing you know, the brakes are released, the wheels start turning and the amazing rollercoaster ride is officially underway.

Now… How would you feel about the experience if the rollercoaster just went straight, slow and steady the whole time? No big hills or dips, no twists and turns, no bumps and bounces, no loop de loops, just predictably straight ahead from start to finish. You’d probably say that the ride sucked and that all the hype was unjustified.

And yet when it comes to life, we complain and conclude that something is wrong when relationships get a little bumpy, when the path we are on takes unexpected twists and turns, when our emotions go up and down, when our dreams bounce us around and go loop de loop. We strive and struggle for perfection and permanence and when life presents challenges and changes, we believe that we are lost or failing.

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Well there’s a big difference between what we want out of life and a rollercoaster!” Is there really? Would you really enjoy a life experience that was always the same, never changing, never challenging you, never pushing you out of your comfort zone? Isn’t that the thrill of living? Isn’t that how we expand and grow? And isn’t that why we go on rides in the first place? To feel the rush of being alive? To have an EXPERIENCE that we’ve never had before?

I’m learning that life isn’t about reaching some arrival point or final destination. We all know where we’re gonna end up and there’s no rush to get there. What it’s really all about is having an amazing experience while we’re here. One that’s expansive, that ebbs and flows, that pushes and pulls us, that challenges us and causes us to feel things we’ve never felt before. Yes, life is about the climb to the top of that hill and the “weeeeeeeeeee” with our arms up over our head on the way down. It’s about loving with everything we have and not holding anything back. It’s about expressing our creativity and our talents fully, and leaving it all out on the stage or the field. It’s about stepping out of our comfort zone and into the unknown over and over again.

So if it feels like life’s kicking you in the ass sometimes or like things aren’t going the way you planned or expected, consider the possibility that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be and that this is what life looks like when it’s working. Say thank you for the experience and remind yourself that life would be boring and empty if there weren’t the challenges and the lessons that come along with them. Instead of resisting the ride, embrace it and acknowledge the gift of uncertainty, of the unknown, of new experiences.

Life is a rollercoaster and we wouldn’t want it any other way. When it’s over, we won’t want to get off the ride and we’ll be begging to take the ride one more time. So maybe you’re on your way up the hill right now and the big dip is coming. Hang in there, stay the course and keep your faith. Before you know it, it will be your time to throw your arms up over your head and say “weeeeeeeeeeeeeee”!

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (July 21st, 2012)

One of the beautiful things about people is that each person is one of a kind. You are the one and only you. I am the one and only me. We each have a distinct set of characteristics, quirks, talents and gifts that together make us the unique individual that we are. At the same time, there are certain fundamental desires that we all share. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to express ourselves creatively in some shape or form. We all have an innate desire to grow and expand towards our highest potential.

At any given moment, depending on our perspective, we can see the traits that make us unique through the eyes of separation and our tendency will be to suppress them for fear of not belonging or of being different. If on the other hand, we focus on those desires which are common to all of us, we can begin to see our uniqueness as our direct access to connection and to providing those things for ourselves and others.

I’ve been in L.A. for the past week and it’s been an amazing reminder of what’s possible when people truly own themselves and their special blend of qualities, gifts and talents. So many of the successes and talents that we celebrate would not be possible if those individuals didn’t have the audacity to be so unapologetically themselves without any regard for conformity or belonging.

What I’ve also been very present to is the fact that when someone is completely authentic in being and expressing who they are, those around them can’t help but do the same. I was hanging out with a friend last night who is a comedian and one of the funniest people I know. Someone meeting him for the first time might say he is awkward and a little peculiar. And the truth is that he is! That’s what makes him so funny along with his willingness to own his uniqueness, to use it and to have fun with it. He oozes comedy with such little effort and the best part is that he makes everyone around him funny, too.

That’s how powerful we are. When we are willing and able to authentically be ourselves, embody our best qualities and to express ourselves freely, we give others permission to do the same. This also means that we can be the source of that which we wish to experience. We can be the love that we seek. We can spark the inspiration that moves us to create. We can lead down the path of expansion that pushes us to our greatest potential. The more we can let go of our inhibitions and fears of being separate, the more we can connect and the more we will see those things which we desire reflected back to us in our environment and in the people around us.

There are so many amazing qualities and they exist within all of us. We are creative, loving, courageous, inspiring, wise, kind, caring, visionary, audacious, peaceful, compassionate, present… The list is endless. Each of us has been blessed with a special ability to embody and express some of these qualities in a way that nobody else can. Our gift back to the Uni-verse and our purpose in life is to use that ability so fully that we ooze that one or two or five special traits so much that they overflow and trickle down to others.

So what would you say is your best or favorite quality? What’s been holding you back from truly owning it and expressing it fully? How can you step into owning that quality and being more you with complete audacity and authenticity?

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (July 14th, 2012)

When we break things down to the simplest of terms, what we really want most out of life is to feel good. We may have lofty goals and grand visions for our life and that’s definitely not a bad thing, but at the end of the day, it’s really all about how we want to FEEL.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately with people that are stuck in this vicious cycle of projecting their happiness onto the attainment of some achievement or the arrival at some future destination in their life. The common experience they describe is one of a perpetual sense that something is missing and an inability to put their finger on what it might be.

The problem is one that we all face to some degree or another. The something that is missing is our PRESENCE and attunement to what is unfolding in our lives RIGHT NOW. This results from the belief that we are separate from that which we desire and creates a constant experience of wanting, chasing and never quite having or being enough.

The truth, however, is that the experience of fulfillment and happiness is available to us all the time, if we choose to allow ourselves to have it. In order to do this, we must turn our focus inward and we must have our eyes on the present rather than some other point in time. If we are constantly looking out into the future or past then we could say our focus is on some moment “out there” ”rather than on this moment “right here”. What tends to happen is that even when we achieve our goal and we arrive at the point we thought would bring us so much happiness, we are unable to truly experience fulfillment because we’re still looking “out there” at the next thing.

The solution is a simple one but it can be scary because it requires us to do one of the things which many of us fear most: to actually FEEL our feelings.

In order to do this, we have to be truly present and willing to be honest with ourselves about where we’re at which isn’t always easy. I have been learning to inhabit the present more fully and check in by asking myself and others: “What are you feeling right now?” By tuning in to what we’re feeling and breathing into it, we can immediately shift our focus from being future or past-oriented to here and now.

Once we are tuned in to what we’re feeling now, we have located our current position on the map. The first thing to do is to simply acknowledge and accept where we are. This means just BEING with whatever we’re feeling, observing it without judgment and just allowing it to be. When the sensation is an unpleasant one, this willingness to just be with it and let it be will actually allow it to pass more quickly. If we try to run away from it, numb it or distract ourselves by using any one of a number of vices and crutches, this only provides temporary relief and the underlying disconnect remains. Conversely, when the state we’re in is a positive one, there is a difference between fully experiencing it and holding on for dear life. When we try to grasp onto joy or love too tightly, the feeling is more likely to slip through our fingers and escape us. As the saying goes: “This too shall pass.”

Once we know and accept where we’re at, we can choose to alter our experience by setting our focus on a different feeling. One way would be to think about what we are grateful for and feel the rays of GRATITUDE that light us up inside. We could also focus on the feelings of love we have for those nearest and dearest to us and experience the sensation of warmth in our hearts. In this way, we are able to access our “feeling good” place on purpose at any time.

Why is this important? Well, if we accept the idea that what we ultimately want to experience when we achieve our goals and realize our vision is a certain feeling, the only way to get there is to determine what that feeling is and then check in with ourselves from moment to moment and use our current feelings as a compass. So first, we establish our destination by envisioning the feeling experience we wish to have and then we use our internal GPS to lead us there by tuning into to what we’re feeling in the present moment and discerning which experiences are in alignment with the desired feeling and which ones are not.

So what are you feeling in this moment? Are you willing to just be with it and let it pass? What would you like to feel? Once you have a feeling intention, set that as the destination on your internal GPS and tune in to attract the experiences and reality that will embody those feelings.

And go!

Much love,

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (June 30th, 2012)

We were born to create. There is an artist within each and everyone us that is bursting at the seams to come out and play. Remember when you were a kid and you used to love drawing, coloring, singing, dancing, playing games and being free? So many of us have lost touch with that part of ourselves and, though we are alive, we are not REALLY living. In fact, if we’re not doing what we love, creating, expressing, playing, then we are slowly dying.

So my questions to you are: What thing that you love doing haven’t you been doing? When was the last time you did it? What happened between then and now that made you decide you were going to stop listening to the voice of the artist within you?

In most cases, the decision to bury our artist is not a conscious one. Creative injuries and limiting beliefs around self-expression are very sneaky and they can be hard to identify from our own perspective. But what we can’t get away from is that all too familiar feeling that something is missing. You know the one I’m talking about. That yearning inside of us that wants to be released; that creative itch that wants to be scratched; that feeling that we aren’t playing full out and living to our potential.

I call that inspiration. It’s the seed from which all amazing art and creation comes forth and it lives within EACH AND EVERY one of us. Some of us carry the seeds for brilliant poetry, others for clever jokes. Some of us are master painters in disguise; some of us have the perfect pictures in our eyes. Whatever calls to your heart, whatever lights you up, that’s what you were made to do. And if you’re not doing it, then you’re missing out and you’re holding out on the rest of us.

And here’s the best part. You don’t have to be the best at it; you don’t need to win any prize. It’s so easy to talk ourselves out of doing something by thinking too far ahead and getting caught up in thoughts about where we want to end up. But creativity, self-expression and life happen NOW, in this moment. So don’t worry about how good you are at it or where it’s going. Just do it for the pure love of it. That is more than enough and it’s from that headspace that the best experiences are had and the best stuff gets created.

So today, I’m asking you to let the artist in you come out and play. No pressure. No expectations. No dramas. Just for a good time and a little fun. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to the Uni-verse that gave you the beautiful ability to create and the unique set of gifts that only you have. You know the ones I’m talking about.

I almost didn’t write my blog for The Daily Love this week. I was holding out on myself and you but thankfully, I got a loving kick in the butt from a friend. This is my loving kick in the butt to you.

Chris

Written for The Daily Love (June 23rd, 2012)